Memoirs of a Prego

For those of you that follow our blog you know that I rarely write anything. I leave the tongue-twisting, witty prose to my husband. But I was thinking in the shower the other day—where many of us do our best thinking—that I really should have been writing down all the emotions I’ve felt during pregnancy. And while I’m already 32 weeks along, with a mere 8 weeks to go, I figured now is as good a time as any to jot some of my thoughts down. I’ll look back and be glad I did. Riley can look back and laugh.

What do I dislike about being pregnant?

Weight gain — It’s not so much that I’ve just gained weight (I expected that), but that I’ve gained it all over.

Charlie horses — My calf cramping up in the middle of the night into a ball of twisted muscle.

Lots of doctor’s visits — I don’t dislike my doctor’s visits as a whole, but I do hate sitting in a waiting room for 40 minutes before being taken into another room where I continue to sit and wait. I’m also not a fan of peeing in a cup each and every time. Nor am I excited by the climb onto the mammoth scale that confirms only one thing: I am the mammoth.

Bloating — As if weight gain wasn’t enough.

Back aches and hip aches — I’m about to give birth but I feel like an 85 year-old woman.

Hormones — These dirty little devils are pretty much responsible for every annoying thing: heartburn, constipation, soreness, fatigue and facial hair. Yes, facial hair! I am the wooly mammoth.

Losing the ability to bend — It sounds silly, but you take things like putting on pants, shoes, socks, shaving your legs, reaching down to pick up something you dropped for granted. Suddenly, every movement that requires your abdomen to bend however slight is a whole new complicated set of contortions. Fun to watch for Jonathan I’m sure.

Frequent peeing — I now hold the position of official restroom tour guide for the greater Scottsdale area. If you’ve seen it, I’ve peed it.

My hair — It has turned into some kind of straw, grass-like material. Lovely.

Burping — It was pretty entertaining at first. Whereas once the most I could manage, with the assistance of Dr. Pepper, was a sad little hiccup of a burp, I am now able (and required it seems) to belch out the nastiest, loudest, rip-roarenest burps of all time. While funny at first, now it’s just gross.

What do I love about being pregnant?

Men — No, really. I love watching men who would normally never throw me a glance suddenly stop what their doing, or turn around, or drop everything to open a door for me. It is silly and reminds me that everybody loves a pregnant lady. Of course, my man is still the best.

Shopping — Two kinds here. First, I love shopping for maternity clothes. Buying things two sizes bigger than you normally wear can be depressing, but hey, shopping is shopping. Second, I love buying baby clothes; itty bitty, adorable, ruffled, foo-foo, pink and purple outfits everywhere. She is going to be the best dressed little baby in the whole darn city.

My fuller bust line — Need I explain?

The Silent Code — Whenever I see another pregnant woman or a mom with a brand new infant, there is a silent exchange of sympathy and excitement. Sometimes it’s a nod, other times it’s a wink or a smile. The point is that we both acknowledge the mutual experience for all the goodness (and anti-goodness) it holds.

Massages from my husband — Granted, they hurt and I whine and complain, but they are so wonderful. Most nights I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep without Jonathan kneading my doughy body.

Not getting a period — Period.

Family excitement — The news of little Riley and her arrival has created quite a buzz among our family. Everyone is just so excited. It is a blessing to see and be a part of such a joyous time.

Getting to call my mom “grandma” — More fun than I thought.

Ice cream — As if I needed an excuse.

My belly — While it represents much of my weight gain (which I despise) it also represents life, and newness, and being a woman, and God’s gift. I rub it. I rest cups on it while watching TV. I oil it up to prevent stretch marks. I talk to it… hoping Riley can hear. It is my badge of courage and proof that the Lord is good.

Feeling Riley move — The first flutters were amazing. I was still kind of nauseous, too, so it would feel like a dip on a roller coaster. Now, 8 months in, she is bigger and stronger. She twists, kicks, pushes, reclines. At night I lay on my side and Jonathan lays next to me with his hand across my belly, resting it still so he can catch every movement. She always kicks for daddy. She is real, alive, growing, beautiful… and thank the Lord, she will be here soon!

Monsters Everywhere

My poor wife. She's a brave woman typically, but when it comes to roaches, her fear is... well, let's just say she could be a little more rational in this area. She's so practical, but when she saw the first roach in the kitchen, she wanted to drape all the furniture and fumigate the whole house. Another time, she asked if we could move. I told her "Sure. To the dark side of the moon. Where we would never have to see them again." Needless to say, she didn't find that funny.

Since that first roach, she's become much more brave, largely because she's had to. We've had more. But honestly, I kind of like it. Don't get me wrong, I hate seeing her scared (though it is funny at times). You see, when she screams, that's my queue to come to the rescue, galloping on my white steed (or slipping down the hallway in my white socks) with my sword drawn and ready for battle (or at least my Raid can ready to spray). It gives me a sense of manliness. More so, though, it proves once again why two are always better than one. Because whatever fear, weakness, or who knows what else we may face alone, when together in those moments you can let your mate know, whether with words, a look you mutually come to understand, or, in a case like this, a good loud shriek, that you need them. And that's what marriage is all about.

The Movies We Love With The One We Love

Marriage is awesome. As our good friend put it while we were engaged: "You never have to leave your best friend..." Of course, shortly thereafter he added, "And you get to go all the way, every time." Both are true statements. But let's focus on the first. (The latter doesn't need an explanation anyway.)

Outside of our time spent at work, Nicole and I spend almost every waking moment together. When you have that much time, you can do a lot. But you find very quickly that there are a few things you particularly enjoy doing together, and as a result, do frequently. We like trying new restaurants. We love walking old town Scottsdale. We find ourselves at Barnes & Noble fairly often, reading and writing together. But most of all, we love movies.

There isn't one aspect of film I don't enjoy. The cinematography, the script, the characters, the acting, the lighting. I love it all. Every aspect of them. And Nicole, bless her heart, has come to enjoy movies more as a result of being with me. I've introduced her to some classics and she's introduced me to a couple good flicks as well. Considering the fact that a lot of our friends have recently been married, engaged or began dating, here are a couple of our favorites, good for watching with that special someone in your life.

Almost Famous
It's probably Nicole and my favorite movie to watch together. It's just so... perfect. There isn't one wrong beat to this movie. Every performance is stellar. The music is fantastic (one of which is our song). The story is just so heartfelt... and it's true, too. If you haven't seen this one, pick it up.

Moonstruck
Yes, it stars Cher. But it's just so dang good. And funny. And realistic in its own quarky way. Cage and Cher are a perfect match in this flick. Definitely worth a watch (and a rewatch and a rewatch). It's on Nicole's top 10 list of all time. And I don't think it's too bad, either.

When Harry Met Sally
As far as romantic comedies go, it doesn't get much better than this. Billy Crystal. Meg Ryan. The famous "I'll have what she's having" scene. Always a sure-fire date movie winner.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
I wish everyone would see this movie. It was my favorite film of the year a couple years back and it's just full of imagination, comedy, romance and... a lesson on ethics. Not a movie you would expect Jim Carrey in, but wonderful nonetheless. Please see this movie.

Le Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain
Also known as Amelie to those who don't speak French (Nic and I included), this is a delightful and fantastical film, full of whimsy and humor. With beautiful cinematography and one of the most original screenplays around, be sure to catch this film if you haven't already. And men, you may even get extra points for renting a film that's French. Anything French feels more romantic.

True Romance
This one isn't for everyone, but Nicole loves it and introduced me to it this past Valentine's Day. It's definitely a more violent romance than you would typically expect with a movie, but what would you expect coming from the likes of Quentin Tarantino and Tony Scott. The tagline for the film reads: "Stealing, cheating, killing. Who said romance is dead?" Like I said, it's not for everyone, but we like it.

The Constant Gardner
One of last year's best films, hands down. While on the surface it seems like an international thriller and mystery, right below that surface is one of the most beautiful romances ever captured on screen. Truly a beautiful film with fine performances from Ralph Fiennes and Rachel Weisz, directed by the always excellent Fernando Meirelles.

Lost In Translation
In my personal opinion, this is Bill Murray's best film yet. It doesn't display the full capability of Murray's wackiness and humor, found in films like Groundhog Day and What About Bob, but this film isn't about wackiness. Unlike most films in which everything needs to be spelled out and labeled and tied up in little bow, the beauty in this film is found in everything that is unsaid between Bill Murray's character along with Scarlett Johansson. One to see, even if you don't like Bill Murray.

Fever Pitch
It's one of those movies you wouldn't expect to be funny, or cute, or romantic, but actually is. Much better than the typical romantic comedy fare, Fever Pitch hits a homerun with men and women. It's funny enough for the guys but romantic enough for the ladies.

Die Hard
Okay, so this one isn't really the most romantic movie in the world, but gosh is it good. And Nicole and I love it. When I found out Nic loved it as much as I did, I knew I had found the perfect mate. When you're not in that lovey dovey movie mood, this is the one to get. And there's still romance... sort of... if you count that super duper kiss at the end of the movie between the very bloody and injured John McClane (played by Bruce Willis) and his wife. Now that's love.

So, there you have it. Some of our top faves. But it's not just the movies that we love. It's the fact that we get to watch these movies together. Whether we're at the theatre or we're just laying in front of the flicker of our television on the mattress we roll out to the family room, we silently watch these and other films thinking how lucky we are to have our movie buddy right there next to us. Our movie buddy for life. Our best friend.

Here's The Skinny...

Okay, okay, so we haven’t written in a while. We both know (and feel kind of bad about it). We’ve had other things on our minds (and in our tummies, or at least Nicole’s tummy). But, we want to update you together, and so, here’s the skinny…

Nicole feels fat.
She’s not, but she feels it. A little tummy is forming (while not nearly to the point the thinks), revealing the new home of our child, whom we call “Bam Bam” for now.

We’ll see you at the Barely Legal Beach Club.
Just kidding. Nicole’s reading Get Out magazine and we like laughing at the ads. We will definitely not see you at the Barely Legal Beach Club.

Jonathan’s gassy.
Well, that’s not actually news, but it was just something that came to mind.

Nicole’s pregnant emotions are funny.
She can’t help it. Her emotions range from hysterical, uncontrollable laughter to tearing up at cotton commercials and everything in between. Jonathan has handled it well, but gets a good kick out of it. One night a little while ago, Nicole was up late due to a racing heart. We took a shower around 3:00 a.m. to help her calm down. As we hugged, she went back and forth from laughing to crying to doing both at the exact same time. It was a priceless moment.

It may rain soon.
Jonathan has been praying for no rain since it last rained (and as we know from the Bible, the prayer of a faithful man accomplishes much). Why, you ask? Because our roof had been damaged and no companies were willing to repair the small section which surely would have led to massive leaking. Finally, though, we found Larry the Roofer, our roof has been fixed and Jonathan believes that it will rain again soon.

Jonathan cries a lot just thinking about our child.
For example, the other night we watched Ransom, starring Mel Gibson. Everything was fine until Mel and Rene Russo’s character walk in on their child in handcuffs and blindfolded by duct tape. Jonathan broke down crying just thinking about the possibility of something like that ever happening to our child. It’s horrible to even think about. Most of the time he’s excited about what Bam Bam will look like, who Bam Bam will turn out being, but sometimes Jonathan just starts crying, both in joy and in fear, for all types of reasons.

The ostrich festival is coming to town.
Just another thing Nicole read about from Get Out magazine this week. If you have nothing better to do.

We’re addicted to 24.
Ever since we borrowed the first season from my parents, we’ve been hooked. It’s television heroine. We’re on season three now, and that’s in just two month’s time. If you haven’t watched it, you have to check it out. Jonathan wants to make a shirt that reads “Jack Bauer is my hero.” Seriously.

You should check out Financial Peace University.
We started taking this class together at Open Door Fellowship. Nicole had taken it before we were married and vowed that she would take the class again with her husband. It’s such an awesome class and we encourage everyone, married or unmarried, to take it at some time or another (the sooner the better). Check out DaveRamsey.com for more info. We guarantee it will bless you and your family.

And that’s all for now.
Hopefully this was a good enough update to keep you satisfied for a while. You can keep praying for Nicole and the safety of Bam Bam. We’ll be finding out if it’s a boy or girl in one month, so we’ll let you know when we do. We’re pretty sure it’s going to be a boy, in which case the name Kyle James is the leading contender for now, but we’ll tell you when we know for sure. Thanks for reading and being patient while waiting for this post. Not like this was Star Wars Episode 3 or anything, but we appreciate your encouragement and caring about all three of our lives (Bam Bam’s included). God bless!

Supplemental Benefit 2: Someone with whom to Share a TV Series Addiction

I haven’t had cable for over two years now. In fact, I haven’t even had television reception. So, the opportunity for me to become addicted to any TV shows has been non-existent. Movies have always been my preferred choice of entertainment by a long shot. That is, until Scrubs.

At Blockbuster a few weeks ago, Nic and I decided to rent the first eight episodes of the show instead of the latest new release for a change. The result: complete and utter addiction. We haven’t been able to stop. It’s television cocaine. We plowed through the first season’s twenty four episodes in a few days. And for Christmas, my brother bought us the complete second season on DVD (which is, for some reason I still can’t understand, unavailable at Blockbuster). While I’m sure I would have enjoyed the delightful series by myself, it’s so much better having your loved one right there with you, just as addicted, rooting for your favorite characters, laughing at the same moments, sniffling at others, and so on. In fact, we love the show so much, we just slide a mattress out to the middle of the family room and watch episode after episode when it’s Scrubs time, which is basically every night straight until we finish a season. We’re just about through the second season on DVD, so the mattress will be hidden again until we locate season three and sit through all the episodes like Star Wars geeks sitting through the entire saga in one sitting.

The humor. The tears. The character development. The favorite moments. We get to share them all together. It’s just another one of those little supplemental benefits you don’t think about when you originally consider popping the question. Or if it is, you need stop watching television and pick up a book or two.

One last little side note. If you haven’t seen Scrubs yet, just watch the first couple shows. You’ll be hooked.

Observations by Nicole C.

Jonathan told me the other day that he had started a blog for us, a place for us to write about our new adventures in marriage. I laughed and felt certain that he would supply plenty of material for the site. But then he told me that he was expecting me to contribute and add my own anecdotes and insight into “this marriage thing.” I figured, what the hey. If anything, we could get a few laughs.

Our Slumber Parties
Initially, everyone’s first question (besides “when are you having babies,”) is: “So how’s married life?” A question to which Jonathan quickly answers, “It’s great!” I, on the other hand, would say something more like, “Well, I don’t know exactly, we’ve only been married about a month. If anything, it feels like a slumber party.” And it does. Putting on our PJ’s, snuggling up next to each other (among other things), lighting candles and laying in bed talking and giggling well past our bed times—it feels exactly like a slumber party (only co-ed and legal). Waking up together in the early morning, snuggling some more, making breakfast on Saturday mornings, getting ready for the day together feels like you have gotten to have the world’s best sleepover with your world’s best friend. And you get to share in that joy everyday day and night.

Like Husband Like Wife
Jonathan and I pride ourselves in comparing our differences. We get a kick out of how truly different we really are from one another. Not until we were married though did even more of our differences surface. And not until we were married did we get to observe how the other person operates in their daily routine. Jonathan for example, I never knew, is a really bad looker. By “bad looker” I mean, he was the kid who would yell for help from his mom because he couldn’t find his socks, yet all the time they would be right under his left foot. Nearly four to five times a week (no exaggeration) Jonathan misplaces something; usually it’s his keys, and/or phone, and/or wallet. Upon realizing he cannot find them, he begins on what should be a search for the missing items, but what is actually just him turning his head from side to side, wherever he is standing, and then proceeding to call for my help in his search. During this time I actually walk around the house and almost always find the item in question within a foot of where Jonathan is standing. “You’re such a bad looker,” I’ll say.

Jonathan on the other hand, while being somewhat foretold of my love of sleeping before marriage, has become quickly inundated with earlier bed times, later sleeping-in, and more frequent naps. He has been a good sport, allowing me a nap when he would much rather be doing other things. He has retired to bed earlier than he would like and has overslept on a Saturday or two, all to be next to me.

Lately however, I have noticed both mine and Jonathan’s “bad looking” and need for sleep rubbing off on one another. I seem, for instance, to find myself misplacing, well… everything—my keys, my phone, my purse, my money. I call to Jonathan to ask him if he has seen the item in question, he grins and says, “You’re such a bad looker,” mockingly. Later that night, while watching a movie, he will fall asleep long before me. I’ll wake him and put him to bed. In the morning, he’ll hit snooze three times and mumble something about wanting more sleep. I pull him close and grin, think to myself “...and the two shall become one…” and I laugh.

Supplemental Benefit 1: Packed Lunches

I’m convinced. One of the very best things about marriage is daily packed lunches. I may be overstating the greatness of this seemingly small benefit, but I think it's absolutely fantastic. Seriously, since we’ve been married, I haven’t once paid to eat out. Not only am I saving time and money, though, I’m losing weight. I think lunch is only half the cause of this last effect, but nonetheless, it helps.

One thing I forget sometimes is Nic writes these corny little names on my lunch sack. Don Juan, Hunk of Burning Love, Prince Charming, The J in “N and J”, Hubby, and World’s Best Kisser are among a few of the most recent titles. So yesterday, as I’m sitting having lunch with someone at work in the break room, I notice he keeps looking at me strangely. Not until after he left and I go to throw away my lunch sack did I recall big fat Studalicious in permanent black ink was facing him as we ate. I don’t want to know what he thought.