Breakfast with My Daughter

I’m sitting here at Einstein Bros Bagels, enjoying breakfast and a beautiful morning with my daughter as Nicole enjoys a little more of that sleep she so loves and misses. People pass by, peak into her car seat at the little pink bundled body and ask the usual questions. How old is she? How much did she weigh? What’s her name? They coo, tell me she’s beautiful, and move on their way.

The amazing thing is answering that first question about Riley. She’s four weeks old tomorrow. It’s already going by so fast. And she’s so much bigger than when we first brought her home. She seems even bigger than she was a couple days ago.

And partaking of my environment here, enjoying my bagel and coffee, saying hello to and answering curious passersby, I watch parent after parent with their small children walking into the store for their own breakfast and time with their family. Pretty soon, I’ll be in their shoes, with a two year-old, three year-old, four year-old, asking how old the new father’s or mother’s child is. It’s going to go by so fast. I just know it. I’ll just have to enjoy everyday as I have it.

Now, I know I haven’t written in a while. Too long if you ask me. But somehow, days have been passing by faster than usual. At night, I’ve been falling asleep without trying, even on the floor sometimes. It takes more out of you than you realize… and I’m not even the one that stays home with her during the day. I typically hang out with Riley right when I get home, which is her “fussy time.” And also, I take weekend mornings so that Nicole can sleep a longer and get the rest she needs and, in my opinion, deserves.

There haven’t really been any major parenthood surprises… yet. We’ve just been taking it one day at a time. Nicole and I have made it a priority to not let the little bambina stifle our regular lives, though. By day three, we took her out on the town for walks and shopping. By day four, Nicole and I left her with our aunt so that we could go have dinner together. By day six, she saw her first movie. And now, Nicole and I are back on our regular Friday night dating schedule. It’s the best advice I can give new parents and something I knew was critcal—still making “just us,” Nicole and me, our marriage, the number one priority. We know so many people that have let their babies take over their lives. But I think, if you do that in the beginning, it eventually transfers into later years. It becomes the norm.

On the humorous side, Riley makes Nicole and I laugh all the time. The faces and noises this girl makes give us good reason. We’ve come to recognize her different types of cries, which helps in a big way. Her wail means “I’m freaking hungry and I want boob milk.” Her short little breath of “ah” is her fake cry, her “Come over here and hold me” cry. Her little constipated cry translates into, “I’m gassy and you need to burp me.” That last one is true, too. She can poop with the best of them. Riley’s farts even wake us up at times. It’s incredible the amount of bodily noise that this beautiful little lady can generate.

She makes us laugh unintentionally, too. Last night, for instance, when I was kissing all over her little head (something I often do) and I kissed her lips, she thought my lips were a nipple, so after one kiss, she opened up her mouth and went to lay a smackaroo on me faster than you can imagine. She tried to open mouth kiss her daddy. Nicole and I were roaring.

Also, Riley has had her fair share of baths at home now. While she likes the warm water, she doesn’t like being naked. She’s just not an exhibitionist. So, when you start washing her body, she starts to wail. Nicole says that, if you walked into our home when Riley was bathing, you would think that Nicole was stabbing her to death. Seriously. It’s an amazing cry. And she gets so upset, she poops. All over. It’s funny talking about it, but it’s so sad and pathetic when it’s happening. Truly and utterly pathetic. We have one picture of Riley that I’ll post later, of her in the bath, unintentionally imitating her favorite child actor of the 90s, McCully Culkin—her hands are plastered on her cheeks as she screams. It’s hilarious.

For those of you wanting pictures of the little beauty, visit LifeThusFar.com, where I’ll be adding a "photos" section, with updated snapshots. It’ll be the best way we can show you and everyone else that loves our daughter how much and how fast she’s growing. Look out for that within the coming week.

I’ll be back with more as soon as possible. I have material up the wazoo. On a side note, this coming Sunday marks our one year wedding anniversary. It’s crazy to think that within a 21-month period, Nic and I started dating, got engaged (six weeks after starting to date), married each other (nine months later), got pregnant (six weeks after our wedding) and had Riley (nine months later). Wow, I didn’t even realize the six week, nine month pattern going on until I wrote it out. With a new little one, we can’t have quite the anniversary we wanted, but next year will be sweet (we’re thinking Hawaii) and we have a different reason to rejoice this year anyway. For the addition of Riley Grace, our beautiful and beloved daughter, to our family.

Thanks for your patience waiting on this post. If nothing else, updating all of you and writing out my thoughts is fun for me. Now it’s time for me to get Riley back to mom. She’s starting her hungry cry.

A Weekend To Remember, Indeed

This weekend Nic and I had the privelage to attend FamilyLife's Weekend to Remember conference. And what a weekend to remember it was.

Not only did the weekend allow us to spend time with some friends who are about to be married, it allowed Nic and I the forum to discuss practical truths we've been talking about for quite some time. Nic and I are already very skilled at communication and identifying where we have room for improvement, but quite literally, talk is cheap. This weekend, we had the time and opportunity to focus not just on what we need to do to better our marriage, but more importantly, how we intended on bettering our marriage and blessing one another. Because let's be honest, loving your spouse isn't just about saying those three little words, it's about living those words out on a day-by-day, moment-by-moment basis. Or as 1 John says, "Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth."

If you are married, about to be married or thinking about marrying, we truly can't recommend this conference enough.

The Movies We Love With The One We Love

Marriage is awesome. As our good friend put it while we were engaged: "You never have to leave your best friend..." Of course, shortly thereafter he added, "And you get to go all the way, every time." Both are true statements. But let's focus on the first. (The latter doesn't need an explanation anyway.)

Outside of our time spent at work, Nicole and I spend almost every waking moment together. When you have that much time, you can do a lot. But you find very quickly that there are a few things you particularly enjoy doing together, and as a result, do frequently. We like trying new restaurants. We love walking old town Scottsdale. We find ourselves at Barnes & Noble fairly often, reading and writing together. But most of all, we love movies.

There isn't one aspect of film I don't enjoy. The cinematography, the script, the characters, the acting, the lighting. I love it all. Every aspect of them. And Nicole, bless her heart, has come to enjoy movies more as a result of being with me. I've introduced her to some classics and she's introduced me to a couple good flicks as well. Considering the fact that a lot of our friends have recently been married, engaged or began dating, here are a couple of our favorites, good for watching with that special someone in your life.

Almost Famous
It's probably Nicole and my favorite movie to watch together. It's just so... perfect. There isn't one wrong beat to this movie. Every performance is stellar. The music is fantastic (one of which is our song). The story is just so heartfelt... and it's true, too. If you haven't seen this one, pick it up.

Moonstruck
Yes, it stars Cher. But it's just so dang good. And funny. And realistic in its own quarky way. Cage and Cher are a perfect match in this flick. Definitely worth a watch (and a rewatch and a rewatch). It's on Nicole's top 10 list of all time. And I don't think it's too bad, either.

When Harry Met Sally
As far as romantic comedies go, it doesn't get much better than this. Billy Crystal. Meg Ryan. The famous "I'll have what she's having" scene. Always a sure-fire date movie winner.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
I wish everyone would see this movie. It was my favorite film of the year a couple years back and it's just full of imagination, comedy, romance and... a lesson on ethics. Not a movie you would expect Jim Carrey in, but wonderful nonetheless. Please see this movie.

Le Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain
Also known as Amelie to those who don't speak French (Nic and I included), this is a delightful and fantastical film, full of whimsy and humor. With beautiful cinematography and one of the most original screenplays around, be sure to catch this film if you haven't already. And men, you may even get extra points for renting a film that's French. Anything French feels more romantic.

True Romance
This one isn't for everyone, but Nicole loves it and introduced me to it this past Valentine's Day. It's definitely a more violent romance than you would typically expect with a movie, but what would you expect coming from the likes of Quentin Tarantino and Tony Scott. The tagline for the film reads: "Stealing, cheating, killing. Who said romance is dead?" Like I said, it's not for everyone, but we like it.

The Constant Gardner
One of last year's best films, hands down. While on the surface it seems like an international thriller and mystery, right below that surface is one of the most beautiful romances ever captured on screen. Truly a beautiful film with fine performances from Ralph Fiennes and Rachel Weisz, directed by the always excellent Fernando Meirelles.

Lost In Translation
In my personal opinion, this is Bill Murray's best film yet. It doesn't display the full capability of Murray's wackiness and humor, found in films like Groundhog Day and What About Bob, but this film isn't about wackiness. Unlike most films in which everything needs to be spelled out and labeled and tied up in little bow, the beauty in this film is found in everything that is unsaid between Bill Murray's character along with Scarlett Johansson. One to see, even if you don't like Bill Murray.

Fever Pitch
It's one of those movies you wouldn't expect to be funny, or cute, or romantic, but actually is. Much better than the typical romantic comedy fare, Fever Pitch hits a homerun with men and women. It's funny enough for the guys but romantic enough for the ladies.

Die Hard
Okay, so this one isn't really the most romantic movie in the world, but gosh is it good. And Nicole and I love it. When I found out Nic loved it as much as I did, I knew I had found the perfect mate. When you're not in that lovey dovey movie mood, this is the one to get. And there's still romance... sort of... if you count that super duper kiss at the end of the movie between the very bloody and injured John McClane (played by Bruce Willis) and his wife. Now that's love.

So, there you have it. Some of our top faves. But it's not just the movies that we love. It's the fact that we get to watch these movies together. Whether we're at the theatre or we're just laying in front of the flicker of our television on the mattress we roll out to the family room, we silently watch these and other films thinking how lucky we are to have our movie buddy right there next to us. Our movie buddy for life. Our best friend.

Ministry: Possible

How blessed I am.

Last night, one of my best friends asked Nicole and me to come and teach his home fellowship group about spiritual gifts . It is, surely, a topic I am passionate to discuss. Much because of my own spiritual gift as a shepherd. We were not 100% prepared for the time, but just prayed for the Holy Spirit to work through us and move in that place. And that He did.

I spoke for the first 15 minutes and then we broke up so that we could cover more ground and talk with the individuals to help them discover their own giftedness. Nicole met with the women and I met with the men. Surely, God worked. Nicole and I both marveled afterwards at how He moved in our midst. Many of the women came and told me what an eloquent and well spoken wife I have. Indeed.

But the cool thing is, Nic and I both realize it's not because of us. It's because of what the Spirit did through us. And I can't help but thank God for a wife who I can do ministry with on a daily basis. A wife that loves God and He uses mightily. A Proverbs 31 woman.

Men, belive me when I say, you want the same. Pray for it. Don't settle. God has someone that you will be able to do ministry with daily. They will bless, not only your marriage, but the kingdom. And that's all that matters in the eternal scheme of things anyway.

2006... And Beyond!

Stinky. I just wrote a whole great post on my life's mission statement, my goals and my word for 2006. And it got deleted. I hate that.

Oh well, it probably would have bored you anyway, and I really don't feel like rewriting it. So here's the basic premise. I finished my life's mission statement to help me remain focused on what God's given me and how I believe He wants me to be used throughout my life. Also, I began to write my goals for the year because one of my best friends has seen consistent year-after-year success as a result of his focus. Can't aim too high because you could set yourself up for failure. Can't aim too low, because you wouldn't achieve enough. But, I think I found a great balance.

My Mission.
While living on this earth, I exist to take up my cross and follow Jesus, love my God, family and neighbors, employ my spiritual gift as a shepherd, utilize my personality as a leader and leverage my creativity and ambition as I am conformed to become more like Christ every single day.

My Word for the Year.
Focus.

My 2006 Goals.
It's long, so I won't go into the details, but it's pretty stinking cool (if I don't say so myself), and if you're looking to live a more focused life, you should try writing your own. I'm excited about it and I'll let you know my progress as I go a long. Email me if you're interested in a copy.

Also, just so you know, one of my goals is to write more consistently on this blog. I had a whole great intro about this, but it got lost. Did I mention I hate that?

This Marriage Thing

RegardingUs.com is our attempt at letting our friends, family and the occasional strangers in on our marriage—the joys, the frustrations, the humor, the sadness, the adventure, the scares, the trials, the mushy gushy lovey dovey stuff, and more. Of course, we can’t share everything, but we'll try to be as open as possible.

“Why,” you ask? Well, there are three reasons. First, we want to keep track of the lessons we have learned and have a central place to visit and be reminded of every step of our romance. Second, we’re new at this marriage thing, and we know that others are new at it or will be new at it soon enough. We want to share the lessons of love we learn and hope to facilitate conversation among almost and newly married couples to keep love alive and encourage the bond of marriage before God and the world. Lastly, we know a lot of amazing couples who are not in any way new at this marriage thing, having been married for ten, twenty, thirty, even forty or more years. We very much hope and pray, for our sake and other newly married couples’ sake, that those who have gone through the highs and lows of marriage—the richer and poorer, the health and sickness, the better and worse—and stood the test of time would be open in this forum and share all that they have learned.

So, whether you’re about to be married, have been married a short amount of time, or are a marriage pro, please join us as we begin the rest of our lives.