Supplemental Benefit 1: Packed Lunches

I’m convinced. One of the very best things about marriage is daily packed lunches. I may be overstating the greatness of this seemingly small benefit, but I think it's absolutely fantastic. Seriously, since we’ve been married, I haven’t once paid to eat out. Not only am I saving time and money, though, I’m losing weight. I think lunch is only half the cause of this last effect, but nonetheless, it helps.

One thing I forget sometimes is Nic writes these corny little names on my lunch sack. Don Juan, Hunk of Burning Love, Prince Charming, The J in “N and J”, Hubby, and World’s Best Kisser are among a few of the most recent titles. So yesterday, as I’m sitting having lunch with someone at work in the break room, I notice he keeps looking at me strangely. Not until after he left and I go to throw away my lunch sack did I recall big fat Studalicious in permanent black ink was facing him as we ate. I don’t want to know what he thought.

36 Days Into It

It’s been just over one month now. Thirty six days to be exact. And what a 36 days it’s been. I’m not quite sure how to capture the essence of our life’s first month together. There’s the obvious humor that accompanies marriage. For instance, now that I have someone sleeping next to me every night, I am debriefed daily about my sleep talking adventures. Of course, Nic just eggs me on and shares nonsensical dialogues with her husband, keeping her laughter down so that she does not wake me and she can enjoy the comedy for as long as possible. Take the other night for example. I had fallen asleep as we watched a movie. Out of nowhere, I shouted, “World’s biggest retards!!!” She asked me to repeat myself, so I less excitedly exclaimed, “World’s biggest retards!” Trying to understand my path of logic, she asked to whom I was referring. Quietly and frustrated, I said, “People.” I do not recall any of this, as I remember none of my sleep talking, but she says it happens. And believe me when I say that this is only one example among countless. She will be happy to elaborate upon other dialogues.

But the moments of comedy and humor aside, it is still difficult to relay the essence of married life. One thing we have both realized is the essentiality of Christ being at the center. This was realized when we were engaged, but even more so now, our individual relationships with Christ are so critical. A couple that met with us weekly before we were married said, “It’s great when we get to spend time with the Lord together, but it’s more critical that I spend time with the Lord alone daily.” I don’t know if everyone thinks that when you marry the love of your life you are something “spiritual” happens. But we have found that, while there is a significant spiritual element of the marriage that occurs upon making your vows, it is far more important to remain focused on your individual love relationship with Christ. Nic and I have read the Bible together, prayed together, and discussed spiritual matters together, but last night we talked about practical ways to encourage our individual romance with God before our romance with each other. I couldn’t have fully understood the enormously vast importance of this before marriage, but now my understanding and practice of this principle is ever more necessary as it decides the success and blessing of not only my life, but Nicole’s. So today, I’m doing exactly that. Nic is working (very much against her will) and I’m reading the Word, listening to praise music, and writing. I feel revitalized, and feeling this, I know that our marriage will be positively impacted as well. It’s a double blessing really.

When we were engaged, unlike any relationship we had with others before, we realized this same thing—that our affections for one another were significantly affected, both negatively and positively, by the state of our individual walks with the Lord. That is to say, if I was not reading the Word and walking in the Spirit, Nicole did not feel as affectionately for me, and likewise, if she was not doing well, I did not feel as passionately about her. It’s scary. To know that the quality of my horizontal relationship with Nicole is hugely impacted by vertical relationship with Christ is frightening. It just goes to show how big a role Christ plays in our life, and not just some aspects of it, but every aspect. Things don’t change when you marry. And I’m sure this is not the last time God will have to remind Nic and me about this fact.

There’s more to tell, sure, but I’m still figuring out how to convey the rest. We’re only 36 days in, so just give me some time and I’ll try and let you know what this marriage thing is like. I do know this though. I love Nicole more every single day. Every morning that I wake up next to her, I know that, no matter what may happen in the day, I have the ineffable blessing of coming home to an amazing, Godly, beautiful woman; my love; my wife.

Our Oh-So-Cute Story

We met in early 2004 and slowly came to know one another over a long and interesting period of time. We were both happily dating other people when we first met, but after a year spent together at church, and an occasional double date with our then-current significant others, we came to deeply appreciate and admire each other. If someone had told us then what would happen in the future, we never would have believed it—we had never held even a remotely romantic thought about one another—until... one fateful rainy day.

Nicole's lease had ended, so she announced in our home fellowship group that moving help was needed, and Jonathan was happy to pitch in. Not having consulted weather.com, moving day was gray and wet. Yes, the furniture was soaked, but even though it rained and poured, being his usual self, Jonathan livened up the mood and made Nicole laugh out loud all day long. That day, something clicked and we realized something big was happening. It only took a couple of weeks before we began officially dating, but soon a romance developed that we had never before experienced. We were smitten.

And on October 22, 2005, still in deep smit, we were married. But as you'll find out from reading this blog, marriage was just the beginning.

This Marriage Thing

RegardingUs.com is our attempt at letting our friends, family and the occasional strangers in on our marriage—the joys, the frustrations, the humor, the sadness, the adventure, the scares, the trials, the mushy gushy lovey dovey stuff, and more. Of course, we can’t share everything, but we'll try to be as open as possible.

“Why,” you ask? Well, there are three reasons. First, we want to keep track of the lessons we have learned and have a central place to visit and be reminded of every step of our romance. Second, we’re new at this marriage thing, and we know that others are new at it or will be new at it soon enough. We want to share the lessons of love we learn and hope to facilitate conversation among almost and newly married couples to keep love alive and encourage the bond of marriage before God and the world. Lastly, we know a lot of amazing couples who are not in any way new at this marriage thing, having been married for ten, twenty, thirty, even forty or more years. We very much hope and pray, for our sake and other newly married couples’ sake, that those who have gone through the highs and lows of marriage—the richer and poorer, the health and sickness, the better and worse—and stood the test of time would be open in this forum and share all that they have learned.

So, whether you’re about to be married, have been married a short amount of time, or are a marriage pro, please join us as we begin the rest of our lives.