Life is Like a Song

Wow. How fast time has flown by. It seems like just a couple months ago Nic and I stood in front of one another, our family, our friends and our Lord, reciting our marriage vows to one another. Vows we made for the rest of our lives. But here we are, one year later. One year more in love.

Of course, all this week, Nicole and (especially) I have been more nostalgic and cheesy. Saying all the usual lovey dovey things to one another. Asking the usual inquisitive romantic questions, like, "What are your favorite memories so far," or "Has it been what you were expecting?"

To answer the latter question first, it's been better than we were expecting. I mean, we both had high expectations, but our first year of marriage has been so much more fun, easy, joyous, exciting and blessed than we could have ever expected or hoped for. God truly knew what He was doing when He brought us together. While we know it won't always be an easy road, we're thankful that the mountains are more like plateaus and the valleys more like brief dips.

Now, the first question was one we smiled about as we thought of our individual responses and eventually answered each other. Obviously, the big memories make the list, like our honeymoon, the holidays, finding out Nicole was pregnant, summer vacation, shopping for our baby when we found out "it" was a "she," the birth of Riley, and so on. But it's not just those that make marriage so wonderful. Rather, it's the little things. It's the fact that even one year later, my wife still blesses me by packing me lunches and writing funny and never-repeated names for me on the brown paper bags; today I'm "one righteous dude," in honor of Ferris Bueller. They're the memories of me looking forward to coming home every Friday night for us to go enjoy our date night. It's the memory of our weekends sleeping in together, curled up under the covers playing footsies. Memories of me getting to care for my pregnant wife when she felt nauseous. They are joyful, beautiful, even "small" treasured memories that constitute my answer to that seemingly simple question.

And now, here we are. We can actual answer in years instead of months when asked how long we've been married.

On the night of our anniversary, after a weekend of celebrating, Nicole brilliantly decided we should start an annual tradition: dancing to our wedding ceremony's first song. Holding each other and slowly spinning in our bare feet to Etta James' At Last, I lost myself in Nicole's arms and quietly leaning on the song's lyrics:

At last
My Love has come along
My lonely days are over
And life is like a song...

How true those words are. Thank you, Nicole, my love, my wife, my best friend, my hero, my lover, my desire, my better half for making them true. For everything. Especially for saying, "I do."

Breakfast with My Daughter

I’m sitting here at Einstein Bros Bagels, enjoying breakfast and a beautiful morning with my daughter as Nicole enjoys a little more of that sleep she so loves and misses. People pass by, peak into her car seat at the little pink bundled body and ask the usual questions. How old is she? How much did she weigh? What’s her name? They coo, tell me she’s beautiful, and move on their way.

The amazing thing is answering that first question about Riley. She’s four weeks old tomorrow. It’s already going by so fast. And she’s so much bigger than when we first brought her home. She seems even bigger than she was a couple days ago.

And partaking of my environment here, enjoying my bagel and coffee, saying hello to and answering curious passersby, I watch parent after parent with their small children walking into the store for their own breakfast and time with their family. Pretty soon, I’ll be in their shoes, with a two year-old, three year-old, four year-old, asking how old the new father’s or mother’s child is. It’s going to go by so fast. I just know it. I’ll just have to enjoy everyday as I have it.

Now, I know I haven’t written in a while. Too long if you ask me. But somehow, days have been passing by faster than usual. At night, I’ve been falling asleep without trying, even on the floor sometimes. It takes more out of you than you realize… and I’m not even the one that stays home with her during the day. I typically hang out with Riley right when I get home, which is her “fussy time.” And also, I take weekend mornings so that Nicole can sleep a longer and get the rest she needs and, in my opinion, deserves.

There haven’t really been any major parenthood surprises… yet. We’ve just been taking it one day at a time. Nicole and I have made it a priority to not let the little bambina stifle our regular lives, though. By day three, we took her out on the town for walks and shopping. By day four, Nicole and I left her with our aunt so that we could go have dinner together. By day six, she saw her first movie. And now, Nicole and I are back on our regular Friday night dating schedule. It’s the best advice I can give new parents and something I knew was critcal—still making “just us,” Nicole and me, our marriage, the number one priority. We know so many people that have let their babies take over their lives. But I think, if you do that in the beginning, it eventually transfers into later years. It becomes the norm.

On the humorous side, Riley makes Nicole and I laugh all the time. The faces and noises this girl makes give us good reason. We’ve come to recognize her different types of cries, which helps in a big way. Her wail means “I’m freaking hungry and I want boob milk.” Her short little breath of “ah” is her fake cry, her “Come over here and hold me” cry. Her little constipated cry translates into, “I’m gassy and you need to burp me.” That last one is true, too. She can poop with the best of them. Riley’s farts even wake us up at times. It’s incredible the amount of bodily noise that this beautiful little lady can generate.

She makes us laugh unintentionally, too. Last night, for instance, when I was kissing all over her little head (something I often do) and I kissed her lips, she thought my lips were a nipple, so after one kiss, she opened up her mouth and went to lay a smackaroo on me faster than you can imagine. She tried to open mouth kiss her daddy. Nicole and I were roaring.

Also, Riley has had her fair share of baths at home now. While she likes the warm water, she doesn’t like being naked. She’s just not an exhibitionist. So, when you start washing her body, she starts to wail. Nicole says that, if you walked into our home when Riley was bathing, you would think that Nicole was stabbing her to death. Seriously. It’s an amazing cry. And she gets so upset, she poops. All over. It’s funny talking about it, but it’s so sad and pathetic when it’s happening. Truly and utterly pathetic. We have one picture of Riley that I’ll post later, of her in the bath, unintentionally imitating her favorite child actor of the 90s, McCully Culkin—her hands are plastered on her cheeks as she screams. It’s hilarious.

For those of you wanting pictures of the little beauty, visit LifeThusFar.com, where I’ll be adding a "photos" section, with updated snapshots. It’ll be the best way we can show you and everyone else that loves our daughter how much and how fast she’s growing. Look out for that within the coming week.

I’ll be back with more as soon as possible. I have material up the wazoo. On a side note, this coming Sunday marks our one year wedding anniversary. It’s crazy to think that within a 21-month period, Nic and I started dating, got engaged (six weeks after starting to date), married each other (nine months later), got pregnant (six weeks after our wedding) and had Riley (nine months later). Wow, I didn’t even realize the six week, nine month pattern going on until I wrote it out. With a new little one, we can’t have quite the anniversary we wanted, but next year will be sweet (we’re thinking Hawaii) and we have a different reason to rejoice this year anyway. For the addition of Riley Grace, our beautiful and beloved daughter, to our family.

Thanks for your patience waiting on this post. If nothing else, updating all of you and writing out my thoughts is fun for me. Now it’s time for me to get Riley back to mom. She’s starting her hungry cry.

A Weekend To Remember, Indeed

This weekend Nic and I had the privelage to attend FamilyLife's Weekend to Remember conference. And what a weekend to remember it was.

Not only did the weekend allow us to spend time with some friends who are about to be married, it allowed Nic and I the forum to discuss practical truths we've been talking about for quite some time. Nic and I are already very skilled at communication and identifying where we have room for improvement, but quite literally, talk is cheap. This weekend, we had the time and opportunity to focus not just on what we need to do to better our marriage, but more importantly, how we intended on bettering our marriage and blessing one another. Because let's be honest, loving your spouse isn't just about saying those three little words, it's about living those words out on a day-by-day, moment-by-moment basis. Or as 1 John says, "Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth."

If you are married, about to be married or thinking about marrying, we truly can't recommend this conference enough.

Ministry: Possible

How blessed I am.

Last night, one of my best friends asked Nicole and me to come and teach his home fellowship group about spiritual gifts . It is, surely, a topic I am passionate to discuss. Much because of my own spiritual gift as a shepherd. We were not 100% prepared for the time, but just prayed for the Holy Spirit to work through us and move in that place. And that He did.

I spoke for the first 15 minutes and then we broke up so that we could cover more ground and talk with the individuals to help them discover their own giftedness. Nicole met with the women and I met with the men. Surely, God worked. Nicole and I both marveled afterwards at how He moved in our midst. Many of the women came and told me what an eloquent and well spoken wife I have. Indeed.

But the cool thing is, Nic and I both realize it's not because of us. It's because of what the Spirit did through us. And I can't help but thank God for a wife who I can do ministry with on a daily basis. A wife that loves God and He uses mightily. A Proverbs 31 woman.

Men, belive me when I say, you want the same. Pray for it. Don't settle. God has someone that you will be able to do ministry with daily. They will bless, not only your marriage, but the kingdom. And that's all that matters in the eternal scheme of things anyway.

Our Oh-So-Cute Story

We met in early 2004 and slowly came to know one another over a long and interesting period of time. We were both happily dating other people when we first met, but after a year spent together at church, and an occasional double date with our then-current significant others, we came to deeply appreciate and admire each other. If someone had told us then what would happen in the future, we never would have believed it—we had never held even a remotely romantic thought about one another—until... one fateful rainy day.

Nicole's lease had ended, so she announced in our home fellowship group that moving help was needed, and Jonathan was happy to pitch in. Not having consulted weather.com, moving day was gray and wet. Yes, the furniture was soaked, but even though it rained and poured, being his usual self, Jonathan livened up the mood and made Nicole laugh out loud all day long. That day, something clicked and we realized something big was happening. It only took a couple of weeks before we began officially dating, but soon a romance developed that we had never before experienced. We were smitten.

And on October 22, 2005, still in deep smit, we were married. But as you'll find out from reading this blog, marriage was just the beginning.

This Marriage Thing

RegardingUs.com is our attempt at letting our friends, family and the occasional strangers in on our marriage—the joys, the frustrations, the humor, the sadness, the adventure, the scares, the trials, the mushy gushy lovey dovey stuff, and more. Of course, we can’t share everything, but we'll try to be as open as possible.

“Why,” you ask? Well, there are three reasons. First, we want to keep track of the lessons we have learned and have a central place to visit and be reminded of every step of our romance. Second, we’re new at this marriage thing, and we know that others are new at it or will be new at it soon enough. We want to share the lessons of love we learn and hope to facilitate conversation among almost and newly married couples to keep love alive and encourage the bond of marriage before God and the world. Lastly, we know a lot of amazing couples who are not in any way new at this marriage thing, having been married for ten, twenty, thirty, even forty or more years. We very much hope and pray, for our sake and other newly married couples’ sake, that those who have gone through the highs and lows of marriage—the richer and poorer, the health and sickness, the better and worse—and stood the test of time would be open in this forum and share all that they have learned.

So, whether you’re about to be married, have been married a short amount of time, or are a marriage pro, please join us as we begin the rest of our lives.