A Brief Update

Not much has changed. We're just crazy busy right now preparing (as much as new parents can be prepared) for this little bambina and trying to rest as much as humanly possible, knowing that this may be the last time we have to rest for quite a long while. Here are the things going on right now:

• We started a three week birth class; this is a story in of itself which I will save for another time
• We took a breast feeding class; again, another story for another time
• Nicole is getting more and more uncomfortable and having trouble sleeping; thankfully for her, she's done working at the end of next week, but your prayers are appreciated
• Nicole and I took a long weekend trip to Sedona for our birthdays, which, needless to say, was wonderful
• The whole concept of becoming a parent is still, totally and 100% weird, yet awesome

That's about it for now. We'll be back with more soon. Stay tuned for the latest ultrasound pictures, which we will post within the week after Nicole visits the doctor this Friday. Riley's bound to look much more human and far less alien than last ultrasound.

Memoirs of a Prego

For those of you that follow our blog you know that I rarely write anything. I leave the tongue-twisting, witty prose to my husband. But I was thinking in the shower the other day—where many of us do our best thinking—that I really should have been writing down all the emotions I’ve felt during pregnancy. And while I’m already 32 weeks along, with a mere 8 weeks to go, I figured now is as good a time as any to jot some of my thoughts down. I’ll look back and be glad I did. Riley can look back and laugh.

What do I dislike about being pregnant?

Weight gain — It’s not so much that I’ve just gained weight (I expected that), but that I’ve gained it all over.

Charlie horses — My calf cramping up in the middle of the night into a ball of twisted muscle.

Lots of doctor’s visits — I don’t dislike my doctor’s visits as a whole, but I do hate sitting in a waiting room for 40 minutes before being taken into another room where I continue to sit and wait. I’m also not a fan of peeing in a cup each and every time. Nor am I excited by the climb onto the mammoth scale that confirms only one thing: I am the mammoth.

Bloating — As if weight gain wasn’t enough.

Back aches and hip aches — I’m about to give birth but I feel like an 85 year-old woman.

Hormones — These dirty little devils are pretty much responsible for every annoying thing: heartburn, constipation, soreness, fatigue and facial hair. Yes, facial hair! I am the wooly mammoth.

Losing the ability to bend — It sounds silly, but you take things like putting on pants, shoes, socks, shaving your legs, reaching down to pick up something you dropped for granted. Suddenly, every movement that requires your abdomen to bend however slight is a whole new complicated set of contortions. Fun to watch for Jonathan I’m sure.

Frequent peeing — I now hold the position of official restroom tour guide for the greater Scottsdale area. If you’ve seen it, I’ve peed it.

My hair — It has turned into some kind of straw, grass-like material. Lovely.

Burping — It was pretty entertaining at first. Whereas once the most I could manage, with the assistance of Dr. Pepper, was a sad little hiccup of a burp, I am now able (and required it seems) to belch out the nastiest, loudest, rip-roarenest burps of all time. While funny at first, now it’s just gross.

What do I love about being pregnant?

Men — No, really. I love watching men who would normally never throw me a glance suddenly stop what their doing, or turn around, or drop everything to open a door for me. It is silly and reminds me that everybody loves a pregnant lady. Of course, my man is still the best.

Shopping — Two kinds here. First, I love shopping for maternity clothes. Buying things two sizes bigger than you normally wear can be depressing, but hey, shopping is shopping. Second, I love buying baby clothes; itty bitty, adorable, ruffled, foo-foo, pink and purple outfits everywhere. She is going to be the best dressed little baby in the whole darn city.

My fuller bust line — Need I explain?

The Silent Code — Whenever I see another pregnant woman or a mom with a brand new infant, there is a silent exchange of sympathy and excitement. Sometimes it’s a nod, other times it’s a wink or a smile. The point is that we both acknowledge the mutual experience for all the goodness (and anti-goodness) it holds.

Massages from my husband — Granted, they hurt and I whine and complain, but they are so wonderful. Most nights I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep without Jonathan kneading my doughy body.

Not getting a period — Period.

Family excitement — The news of little Riley and her arrival has created quite a buzz among our family. Everyone is just so excited. It is a blessing to see and be a part of such a joyous time.

Getting to call my mom “grandma” — More fun than I thought.

Ice cream — As if I needed an excuse.

My belly — While it represents much of my weight gain (which I despise) it also represents life, and newness, and being a woman, and God’s gift. I rub it. I rest cups on it while watching TV. I oil it up to prevent stretch marks. I talk to it… hoping Riley can hear. It is my badge of courage and proof that the Lord is good.

Feeling Riley move — The first flutters were amazing. I was still kind of nauseous, too, so it would feel like a dip on a roller coaster. Now, 8 months in, she is bigger and stronger. She twists, kicks, pushes, reclines. At night I lay on my side and Jonathan lays next to me with his hand across my belly, resting it still so he can catch every movement. She always kicks for daddy. She is real, alive, growing, beautiful… and thank the Lord, she will be here soon!

A Little More Regarding Us

Recently, we performed this exercise with a married couples group where we had to write down our likes, dislikes, one thing someone totally wouldn't guess about us and favorite things about our spouses. The results were somewhat entertaining, and since this site is regarding us afterall, we figured it might be another good way for all of you loyal readers out there to learn a little more about who we are, not only as a couple, but as individuals. So, whether you're interested or not, here ya go.

Nicole...

Likes: Warm sheets fresh out of the dryer; rainy days, especially those spent in a coffee shop or in bed; lazy Saturday afternoons with my husband; finding a bargain; ice cream-actually anything sweet; concerts that get the whole audience signing along; my mother’s laugh; sand in my toes; ladybugs; road trips; the feeling of your hair right after a great hair cut; poetry and short stories (good ones); playing cards all night with my husband's family; the smell of babies (minus the dirty diaper smell); stick shifts; camping; sticking my hand out the window while driving down the road doing that up and down thing; hockey games, in person; nice hotel rooms with fluffy bath robes; fresh snow; a nice glass of wine, preferably Shiraz; aspen trees; fresh squeezed orange juice; holding my husband’s hand; spring and fall; slippers; cats; action movies with lots of guns and fighting; glossy magazines; the legislative process; trying new recipes; the book of James; the Cookie Monster; the smell of suntan lotion; a smile from a stranger.

Dislikes: Standing in line; loud cell phone rings; driving, especially during rush hour; poor service at a restaurant; kids with dirty faces and Kool-Aid stained mouths; parking lots and everything that goes on in parking lots; most 80’s music; typing; stepping on gum; sticking to your car seat in the middle of summer; people who cannot dance but insist on dancing; anything played on KYOT; gossipers; awkward silences; body odor; roaches; clowns; most anything trendy; mom jeans; rubbery pancakes; bills; doing dishes; organ music; public restrooms, especially port-a-potties; over-sleeping; running late; spilling something on a white shirt; a stuffy nose; morning breath; know-it-alls.

One thing someone totally wouldn't guess about me: Most (white) people (no offense) usually cannot guess that I am mulatto-that is half black and half white. Yup, I’m an oreo.

Favorite thing about my spouse: Hmm… there really is a lot to love. But before Jonathan and I were married, not even dating, he had asked in our home group what people were looking for in a mate. He called on me. The first thing out of my mouth was kindness. Genuine kindness is sexy and contagious. Jonathan is one of the most genuinely kind people I have ever known. He smiles at strangers, he gets people at stores and behind counters to light up, giggle, joke. He helps people have a better day. He has the ability to make someone feel like they are the only person in the room. It encourages me to do the same. It is one of his most Christ-like characteristics and I am so appreciative.

Jonathan...

Likes: Really weird independant films that most people have never even heard of; otters; the A Team; boxer briefs; peeing after I've been holding it for a long time; funny commercials, like this one; people falling on their faces; hot sex with my hot wife; blogging; performing idiotic and otherwise ridiculous Jackassesque stunts just to watch people's reactions and/or to come out of it all with a good story; oranges; billion dollar ideas that may lead to my early retirement and a financially secure future for my children's children's children; goofing off at work on occassion; rainy days; positive recognition; skiing; interior decorating (I know, I know, but I am married to a woman); peeling glue off my hands and fingers; writing; looking in the mirror right after a shower; Friday date nights; packed lunches; traveling; making funny voices when I call people; not being a woman; playing footsies under the covers with my wife right before we fall asleep and right after we wake up in the morning.

Dislikes: Endings that totally ruin movies which could have otherwise been good or even great; when my wife brings up how many girls I've kissed; looking in the mirror right after dinner; thinking unhappy thoughts; compulsive liars; when people tell good jokes poorly; dust bunnies; taking care of my front and back yard; negative recognition; people that complain all the time and yet, for some reason, never do anything about resolving their complaint(s); mean people; mononucleosis; debt; working three jobs at a time; feeling hot (temperature wise).

One Thing Someone Totally Wouldn't Guess About Me: I have huge, huge, huge nipples. I'm talking large.

Favorite Thing About My Spouse: I only get to pick one thing? Geez, that's a toughie. Okay, this may sound corny, but it's so true. When I finally started dating her, I realized that she was everything I always wanted but didn't know how to even pray or hope for. Some of her characteristics I knew I wanted well before I met her, but so much of who she is that I didn't even realize I wanted (and needed), God brought to me through Nic.

There you have it. Now you know a little more about us. We hope you feel enlightened.

Here's The Skinny...

Okay, okay, so we haven’t written in a while. We both know (and feel kind of bad about it). We’ve had other things on our minds (and in our tummies, or at least Nicole’s tummy). But, we want to update you together, and so, here’s the skinny…

Nicole feels fat.
She’s not, but she feels it. A little tummy is forming (while not nearly to the point the thinks), revealing the new home of our child, whom we call “Bam Bam” for now.

We’ll see you at the Barely Legal Beach Club.
Just kidding. Nicole’s reading Get Out magazine and we like laughing at the ads. We will definitely not see you at the Barely Legal Beach Club.

Jonathan’s gassy.
Well, that’s not actually news, but it was just something that came to mind.

Nicole’s pregnant emotions are funny.
She can’t help it. Her emotions range from hysterical, uncontrollable laughter to tearing up at cotton commercials and everything in between. Jonathan has handled it well, but gets a good kick out of it. One night a little while ago, Nicole was up late due to a racing heart. We took a shower around 3:00 a.m. to help her calm down. As we hugged, she went back and forth from laughing to crying to doing both at the exact same time. It was a priceless moment.

It may rain soon.
Jonathan has been praying for no rain since it last rained (and as we know from the Bible, the prayer of a faithful man accomplishes much). Why, you ask? Because our roof had been damaged and no companies were willing to repair the small section which surely would have led to massive leaking. Finally, though, we found Larry the Roofer, our roof has been fixed and Jonathan believes that it will rain again soon.

Jonathan cries a lot just thinking about our child.
For example, the other night we watched Ransom, starring Mel Gibson. Everything was fine until Mel and Rene Russo’s character walk in on their child in handcuffs and blindfolded by duct tape. Jonathan broke down crying just thinking about the possibility of something like that ever happening to our child. It’s horrible to even think about. Most of the time he’s excited about what Bam Bam will look like, who Bam Bam will turn out being, but sometimes Jonathan just starts crying, both in joy and in fear, for all types of reasons.

The ostrich festival is coming to town.
Just another thing Nicole read about from Get Out magazine this week. If you have nothing better to do.

We’re addicted to 24.
Ever since we borrowed the first season from my parents, we’ve been hooked. It’s television heroine. We’re on season three now, and that’s in just two month’s time. If you haven’t watched it, you have to check it out. Jonathan wants to make a shirt that reads “Jack Bauer is my hero.” Seriously.

You should check out Financial Peace University.
We started taking this class together at Open Door Fellowship. Nicole had taken it before we were married and vowed that she would take the class again with her husband. It’s such an awesome class and we encourage everyone, married or unmarried, to take it at some time or another (the sooner the better). Check out DaveRamsey.com for more info. We guarantee it will bless you and your family.

And that’s all for now.
Hopefully this was a good enough update to keep you satisfied for a while. You can keep praying for Nicole and the safety of Bam Bam. We’ll be finding out if it’s a boy or girl in one month, so we’ll let you know when we do. We’re pretty sure it’s going to be a boy, in which case the name Kyle James is the leading contender for now, but we’ll tell you when we know for sure. Thanks for reading and being patient while waiting for this post. Not like this was Star Wars Episode 3 or anything, but we appreciate your encouragement and caring about all three of our lives (Bam Bam’s included). God bless!

The Beginning

“Congratulations!” “We’re so excited for you!” “Are you thrilled?” Wow, it seems as if I just heard all those comments, only in reference to my wedding, three short months ago. But here Jonathan and I are again, hearing such familiar words. Only now they are referring to “the baby.”

Yes, as many of you already know... I’m pregnant... We’re pregnant. Three months in and already a bun in the oven. Scared? Of course. Overjoyed? Absolutely. Nauseous? Periodically throughout the day. Tired? All the stinkin’ time.

The story itself is funny. It suits Jonathan and me. It seems fitting that we would be pregnant so soon. Neither of us are “slow movers,” Jonathan even more so, and pardon the crassness, but neither are his sperm.

I took seven pregnancy tests (yes, seven). The first four read yes, no, yes, no. “Hmmm. Do I tell him now or wait 'till I know for sure. I can’t be pregnant. I’m not pregnant. That flip my stomach keeps doing is just the flu going around... no big deal. Just relax... your period is right around the corner.”

Last Monday, I spent thirty minutes at work feeling completely sick to my stomach. I was leaning against the wall drinking gingerale when one of my co-workers asked me jokingly, “Are you farther along than you think?” “Ha, ha,” I chuckled. “Farther along? Farther along than what? I am NOT pregnant.” That night, Jonathan and I agreed to buy a box of three tests, just to be sure either way. Two minutes after peeing on a stick, a bright solid blue + sign appeared. A + sign is positive. Positive is yes. Yes is “baby on board.” I stared at the stick sitting on the bathroom counter, blank faced, jaw wide open. In a flash, as the fuzzy blue lines became the crisp symbol of things ahead, a thousand thoughts flashed through my mind. “Getting fat, swollen ankles, breastfeeding, no more sleep, staying home, strollers, I’m not ready... I’m too young... labor... AHH... labor pains... we’ve only been married a few months... contractions!!!... Getting fat... we can’t afford this... how is this possible... nine months, remember, he/she won’t be here for 9 months... wow... whoa... I feel sick... thank You Lord... You think we’re ready... I’m scared... but thank You... thank You... thank You...” Meanwhile, Jonathan is running around the house in his boxers, jumping on the bed, screaming, woohooing, proclaiming “I'm gonna be a dad!”

It hasn’t all sunk in, and it probably won’t until we see our baby’s shining face. Even then we might be a little awe struck. We probably will be. But this gift is amazing. God gives more than we deserve, more than we hope for, or even know to hope for. Our Abba. Amazing. Good. Glorious.

There are, of course, many stories already that we wish to share with you all. And we will. Our life just got a whole lot more interesting, funny, and blessed. Please keep us (all three) in your prayers... and thank you for sharing in our love story as it unfolds.

I'll Take Humility for a $1000 Please.

A year ago last December, Jonathan and I were just beginning. We had been dating only a few weeks when Jonathan told me about his “word for the year.” The idea is to choose a word, ideally a characteristic of God or Christian principle, and let that one word be your focus for the year. Jonathan’s word was stewardship, and the year before, patience. It seemed like a simple enough concept.

So, one sunny December afternoon, while driving with the windows down, the birds singing, wind blowing through my hair, I uttered these fateful words: “Lord, all the good things I am, are because of you, all the things I like about myself are the qualities you have given me. May I always appreciate that gift. May I always be humble enough to recognize who You have made me to be...” and it struck me… “Lord, I ask that humility be my word for the year.” And there it was. I had unknowingly sent my life in a completely different direction.

You see, God is always willing to answer those prayers—the break me, grow me, humble me prayers. So suddenly there I was dating Jonathan and every ounce of my self-esteem, it seemed had been sucked out of me. My usual self-confidence was wavering, my insecurities were mounting. Within weeks of praying that prayer I was fired from two jobs. I had never been fired from a job in my life. Soon after that, in a desperate move to “makeover” myself I cut off all my hair. I cried. Each morning when I stepped to the mirror I would fight back tears. How did this happen? Why did I look like a boy elf? Why, in my engagement to my future husband, was I looking and feeling my very worst?

Relationships with close friends began dissolving. Tensions grew between me and people I truly loved. Again and again, the Lord reminded me of my need to persevere and to recognize that my value was not tied to my job, or my haircut, or even my relationships with friends for that matter. It was all Him. And moreover, He was preparing me for marriage in a way I was unable to fully see... yet.

Kathy, my mother-in-law, at one point during this time asked me, “How is everything?” I thought for a moment. “Well, it feels like my life is falling apart. But Jonathan and I are great.” And there was the reality. In the midst of my ugliness, feeling beaten down, even hopeless at times, Jonathan was always Jonathan. While I was sad, grumpy, lacking confidence, and tired, he was supportive, encouraging, loving, forgiving, and patient. Our relationship never suffered. It flourished. God took my brokenness and started rebuilding. He took my willingness and began renewing. The process is not over. The year is not over.

I have discovered more and more ways that the Lord desires to grow me in my humility, most of them through my new marriage. I quickly realized that my heart and desire to serve Jonathan is linked explicitly to my desire to humble myself. My desire to humble myself is linked wholly to my view of myself against God. If I am nothing except for the wonderful things He has made me, well then, even when it does not feel like it, I am quite beautiful indeed, just like Jesus and Jonathan tell me.

But I will say this. Next year’s word: joy.

Observations by Nicole C.

Jonathan told me the other day that he had started a blog for us, a place for us to write about our new adventures in marriage. I laughed and felt certain that he would supply plenty of material for the site. But then he told me that he was expecting me to contribute and add my own anecdotes and insight into “this marriage thing.” I figured, what the hey. If anything, we could get a few laughs.

Our Slumber Parties
Initially, everyone’s first question (besides “when are you having babies,”) is: “So how’s married life?” A question to which Jonathan quickly answers, “It’s great!” I, on the other hand, would say something more like, “Well, I don’t know exactly, we’ve only been married about a month. If anything, it feels like a slumber party.” And it does. Putting on our PJ’s, snuggling up next to each other (among other things), lighting candles and laying in bed talking and giggling well past our bed times—it feels exactly like a slumber party (only co-ed and legal). Waking up together in the early morning, snuggling some more, making breakfast on Saturday mornings, getting ready for the day together feels like you have gotten to have the world’s best sleepover with your world’s best friend. And you get to share in that joy everyday day and night.

Like Husband Like Wife
Jonathan and I pride ourselves in comparing our differences. We get a kick out of how truly different we really are from one another. Not until we were married though did even more of our differences surface. And not until we were married did we get to observe how the other person operates in their daily routine. Jonathan for example, I never knew, is a really bad looker. By “bad looker” I mean, he was the kid who would yell for help from his mom because he couldn’t find his socks, yet all the time they would be right under his left foot. Nearly four to five times a week (no exaggeration) Jonathan misplaces something; usually it’s his keys, and/or phone, and/or wallet. Upon realizing he cannot find them, he begins on what should be a search for the missing items, but what is actually just him turning his head from side to side, wherever he is standing, and then proceeding to call for my help in his search. During this time I actually walk around the house and almost always find the item in question within a foot of where Jonathan is standing. “You’re such a bad looker,” I’ll say.

Jonathan on the other hand, while being somewhat foretold of my love of sleeping before marriage, has become quickly inundated with earlier bed times, later sleeping-in, and more frequent naps. He has been a good sport, allowing me a nap when he would much rather be doing other things. He has retired to bed earlier than he would like and has overslept on a Saturday or two, all to be next to me.

Lately however, I have noticed both mine and Jonathan’s “bad looking” and need for sleep rubbing off on one another. I seem, for instance, to find myself misplacing, well… everything—my keys, my phone, my purse, my money. I call to Jonathan to ask him if he has seen the item in question, he grins and says, “You’re such a bad looker,” mockingly. Later that night, while watching a movie, he will fall asleep long before me. I’ll wake him and put him to bed. In the morning, he’ll hit snooze three times and mumble something about wanting more sleep. I pull him close and grin, think to myself “...and the two shall become one…” and I laugh.