"Then the eyes of both of them were opened..."

Remember all those habits and idiosyncrasies you had when you were single that didn’t seem weird at the time? Yeah. Well. I’ve come to realize that I had a lot of those. And I still do.

For instance (and this is a big for instance), every time I finish showering, I proceed directly to the toilet, where I wipe myself. Yes, my butt. I won’t go too much into the details, but I always feel like that region won’t fully dry without a good up-and-down wiping. Even though I have done this for years and never thought that much about it, the first time Nic caught me still dripping wet from the shower, squatting, fingers holding onto a big clump of moist toilet paper, wiping myself, I pitifully whimpered, “Crap.” Actually, it sounded more like, “crap…” She said it looked as if I was about to cry.

I imagine it’s a lot like Adam and Eve must have felt after sinning. In Genesis 3:7 it reads, “Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked…” That’s exactly how it felt. Not that marrying Nicole was comparable to the fall of man. It’s just that, when she beheld me in all of my naked, squatting glory, immediately, I knew using toilet paper to dry the hidden region of my body was totally weird. Neurotic. Just plain gross.

There are other examples, too. Like how every time I brush my teeth, I gag myself due to how far back I reach the toothbrush to rid my tongue of all the junk that causes bad breath. Or how I circle the house when I’m ready to leave and waiting on somebody (a.k.a. her). Or, how I shave the little hairs that spring up around my nipples like weeds in spring. Yes, these and many other strange things, no matter how strange and unusual they may seem, are all a part of the moy (half man, half boy) that is me. And while Nic, too, has some different idiosyncrasies and habits, I confidently state that they are nowhere nearly as strange as mine. And besides, I don’t think I would be allowed to tell about them here.

But, when I think about all this, I know that it’s just another intricate part of marriage. When you marry, you get everything. And I mean everything. The habits. The funny sayings. The irrational fears. The pet peeves. Even the weird little things that become a part of your loved one’s everyday routine. That may include butt wipe drying. It may not. But you know what? You keep falling in love despite that stuff. And the weirdest thing of all is, sometimes you may even find yourself falling in love because of that stuff.