Parenthood Fears

Over lunch this weekend, Nic and I talked about what we were most scared of concerning parenthood. Obviously there are a ton of things that come to mind, I mean, this is our first child we're talking about here, but our answers weren't what we expected.

For Nicole, she said she was nervous about her discipline consistency and tactics. This was surprising to me because, of all the things I thought Nicole might say, this was indeed not one of them. My wife, exhorter that she is, consistently proves herself to be one of the most practical people I know. She's all about answering the "how to" questions. So, I encouraged her and told her that she'll do fantastic in that area. I know that Riley, and our future children, will not be getting away with anything. As far as tactics are concerned, that'll depend on the child. My mom puts it in these terms: sticks and carrots. You have to find what deters disobedience, and you have to find what encourages good behavior. While Nic may be scared of this area, I'm not. I am confident Nicole will do an incredible job helping raise our children in the discipline of the Lord.

Much like I was surprised by her answer, she was surprised by mine. I told her that I was afraid of "not being fun." Not so much when Riley and our other kids are babies or infants, but more so when they reach their middle school and high school years. I fear that I will turn out to be somewhat of a dud. A dad that doesn't let loose and let the kid inside me out on occassion.


My wife assured me, that this should be the least of my concerns. She encouraged me that, with a daughter, whether or not I'm doing something typically labeled "fun," just spending time with Riley will be what matters. Daughters love their dads, and all I'll have to do, according to my wise wife, is make myself available and seek out spending time with our eldest as much as possible. Okay. That's something I know I can do.

There are other things we're scared of in regards to our impending parenthood, surely. Will we always display patience with her? When will we allow her to date and how strict will I be on her boyfriend? How will we encourage her faith in a way that she can make it her own? What movies, clothes, friends will we not allow her to see, wear and spend time with and, when we do, how will we react to her potential frustration? These are all questions we have (among others)... but we don't have to answer those now. We're taking one day at a time, and as long as each one of those days we're seeking our Father's wisdom and guidance, we'll be more than okay. And that's something we can rely on until the end of time, no matter how great the fear.