Life is Like a Song

Wow. How fast time has flown by. It seems like just a couple months ago Nic and I stood in front of one another, our family, our friends and our Lord, reciting our marriage vows to one another. Vows we made for the rest of our lives. But here we are, one year later. One year more in love.

Of course, all this week, Nicole and (especially) I have been more nostalgic and cheesy. Saying all the usual lovey dovey things to one another. Asking the usual inquisitive romantic questions, like, "What are your favorite memories so far," or "Has it been what you were expecting?"

To answer the latter question first, it's been better than we were expecting. I mean, we both had high expectations, but our first year of marriage has been so much more fun, easy, joyous, exciting and blessed than we could have ever expected or hoped for. God truly knew what He was doing when He brought us together. While we know it won't always be an easy road, we're thankful that the mountains are more like plateaus and the valleys more like brief dips.

Now, the first question was one we smiled about as we thought of our individual responses and eventually answered each other. Obviously, the big memories make the list, like our honeymoon, the holidays, finding out Nicole was pregnant, summer vacation, shopping for our baby when we found out "it" was a "she," the birth of Riley, and so on. But it's not just those that make marriage so wonderful. Rather, it's the little things. It's the fact that even one year later, my wife still blesses me by packing me lunches and writing funny and never-repeated names for me on the brown paper bags; today I'm "one righteous dude," in honor of Ferris Bueller. They're the memories of me looking forward to coming home every Friday night for us to go enjoy our date night. It's the memory of our weekends sleeping in together, curled up under the covers playing footsies. Memories of me getting to care for my pregnant wife when she felt nauseous. They are joyful, beautiful, even "small" treasured memories that constitute my answer to that seemingly simple question.

And now, here we are. We can actual answer in years instead of months when asked how long we've been married.

On the night of our anniversary, after a weekend of celebrating, Nicole brilliantly decided we should start an annual tradition: dancing to our wedding ceremony's first song. Holding each other and slowly spinning in our bare feet to Etta James' At Last, I lost myself in Nicole's arms and quietly leaning on the song's lyrics:

At last
My Love has come along
My lonely days are over
And life is like a song...

How true those words are. Thank you, Nicole, my love, my wife, my best friend, my hero, my lover, my desire, my better half for making them true. For everything. Especially for saying, "I do."

New Site Look...

For those of you who have been asking about Riley and pestering us for some more pictures, visit her blog, LifeThusFar.com for some of the latest. Yes, Riley, to answer your question, you are cute. Dang cute!

Also, you might notice that I'm following my daughter's lead on technical stuff already. Basically, I feel the same way she does on most of the new features. And like her, I have no idea how to get back the nifty little blog header I created, but with our site's new color scheme, it wouldn't work as well anyway. Hope you enjoy the new site. And let me know if you would like to see it improved in any way.

Breakfast with My Daughter

I’m sitting here at Einstein Bros Bagels, enjoying breakfast and a beautiful morning with my daughter as Nicole enjoys a little more of that sleep she so loves and misses. People pass by, peak into her car seat at the little pink bundled body and ask the usual questions. How old is she? How much did she weigh? What’s her name? They coo, tell me she’s beautiful, and move on their way.

The amazing thing is answering that first question about Riley. She’s four weeks old tomorrow. It’s already going by so fast. And she’s so much bigger than when we first brought her home. She seems even bigger than she was a couple days ago.

And partaking of my environment here, enjoying my bagel and coffee, saying hello to and answering curious passersby, I watch parent after parent with their small children walking into the store for their own breakfast and time with their family. Pretty soon, I’ll be in their shoes, with a two year-old, three year-old, four year-old, asking how old the new father’s or mother’s child is. It’s going to go by so fast. I just know it. I’ll just have to enjoy everyday as I have it.

Now, I know I haven’t written in a while. Too long if you ask me. But somehow, days have been passing by faster than usual. At night, I’ve been falling asleep without trying, even on the floor sometimes. It takes more out of you than you realize… and I’m not even the one that stays home with her during the day. I typically hang out with Riley right when I get home, which is her “fussy time.” And also, I take weekend mornings so that Nicole can sleep a longer and get the rest she needs and, in my opinion, deserves.

There haven’t really been any major parenthood surprises… yet. We’ve just been taking it one day at a time. Nicole and I have made it a priority to not let the little bambina stifle our regular lives, though. By day three, we took her out on the town for walks and shopping. By day four, Nicole and I left her with our aunt so that we could go have dinner together. By day six, she saw her first movie. And now, Nicole and I are back on our regular Friday night dating schedule. It’s the best advice I can give new parents and something I knew was critcal—still making “just us,” Nicole and me, our marriage, the number one priority. We know so many people that have let their babies take over their lives. But I think, if you do that in the beginning, it eventually transfers into later years. It becomes the norm.

On the humorous side, Riley makes Nicole and I laugh all the time. The faces and noises this girl makes give us good reason. We’ve come to recognize her different types of cries, which helps in a big way. Her wail means “I’m freaking hungry and I want boob milk.” Her short little breath of “ah” is her fake cry, her “Come over here and hold me” cry. Her little constipated cry translates into, “I’m gassy and you need to burp me.” That last one is true, too. She can poop with the best of them. Riley’s farts even wake us up at times. It’s incredible the amount of bodily noise that this beautiful little lady can generate.

She makes us laugh unintentionally, too. Last night, for instance, when I was kissing all over her little head (something I often do) and I kissed her lips, she thought my lips were a nipple, so after one kiss, she opened up her mouth and went to lay a smackaroo on me faster than you can imagine. She tried to open mouth kiss her daddy. Nicole and I were roaring.

Also, Riley has had her fair share of baths at home now. While she likes the warm water, she doesn’t like being naked. She’s just not an exhibitionist. So, when you start washing her body, she starts to wail. Nicole says that, if you walked into our home when Riley was bathing, you would think that Nicole was stabbing her to death. Seriously. It’s an amazing cry. And she gets so upset, she poops. All over. It’s funny talking about it, but it’s so sad and pathetic when it’s happening. Truly and utterly pathetic. We have one picture of Riley that I’ll post later, of her in the bath, unintentionally imitating her favorite child actor of the 90s, McCully Culkin—her hands are plastered on her cheeks as she screams. It’s hilarious.

For those of you wanting pictures of the little beauty, visit LifeThusFar.com, where I’ll be adding a "photos" section, with updated snapshots. It’ll be the best way we can show you and everyone else that loves our daughter how much and how fast she’s growing. Look out for that within the coming week.

I’ll be back with more as soon as possible. I have material up the wazoo. On a side note, this coming Sunday marks our one year wedding anniversary. It’s crazy to think that within a 21-month period, Nic and I started dating, got engaged (six weeks after starting to date), married each other (nine months later), got pregnant (six weeks after our wedding) and had Riley (nine months later). Wow, I didn’t even realize the six week, nine month pattern going on until I wrote it out. With a new little one, we can’t have quite the anniversary we wanted, but next year will be sweet (we’re thinking Hawaii) and we have a different reason to rejoice this year anyway. For the addition of Riley Grace, our beautiful and beloved daughter, to our family.

Thanks for your patience waiting on this post. If nothing else, updating all of you and writing out my thoughts is fun for me. Now it’s time for me to get Riley back to mom. She’s starting her hungry cry.

She's Here!

How do you put into words the miracle of life taking place before your very eyes? I don't have an answer to that question. What I do have, however, is a new appreciation for creation and the wonder of God's design.

As many of you already know, our daughter, Riley, entered this world on September 18, 2006, at 18:39. The experience overwhelmed both Nicole and me and I have been searching for words all this week to try and explain the joy and praise and wonder and love I have felt since. I have failed to find those words, but I do know this: Nicole and I are so very thankful for this new addition to our family. To finally meet her and look in her newborn eyes and hold her, it has been a blessing beyond our wildest dreams.

I will be trying to formulate my thoughts better over the coming week and post something more significant during that time. For now, enjoy these pictures that capture some, but not nearly all of the joy and wonder Nicole and I have been feeling this past week...

This is Riley right after she made her way out of Nic's womb and into our arms:

This is the cute little girl getting her first bath:


This is her sucking on my thumb like nobody's business:

This... well, this is just a Kodak moment if I ever saw one:

Thank you all, again, for your prayers and petitions and thanksgivings and blessings these past nine months, this past week, and for all the years ahead. We're blessed to have such wonderful family, friends, support, and we look forward to updating you with all the new material ahead of us. Because now, Regarding Us isn't just about Nic and me... it's about all of us... our family.

God bless you all.

A Brief Update

Not much has changed. We're just crazy busy right now preparing (as much as new parents can be prepared) for this little bambina and trying to rest as much as humanly possible, knowing that this may be the last time we have to rest for quite a long while. Here are the things going on right now:

• We started a three week birth class; this is a story in of itself which I will save for another time
• We took a breast feeding class; again, another story for another time
• Nicole is getting more and more uncomfortable and having trouble sleeping; thankfully for her, she's done working at the end of next week, but your prayers are appreciated
• Nicole and I took a long weekend trip to Sedona for our birthdays, which, needless to say, was wonderful
• The whole concept of becoming a parent is still, totally and 100% weird, yet awesome

That's about it for now. We'll be back with more soon. Stay tuned for the latest ultrasound pictures, which we will post within the week after Nicole visits the doctor this Friday. Riley's bound to look much more human and far less alien than last ultrasound.

Geez, I'm Sore

I woke up this morning, more sore than I thought possible. The reason I awoke so unspeakably achy was due to my weekend activity. With only six weeks to go until Riley's here, our time is quickly dwindling to set the house in order and accomplish the things we wish to accomplish. So, my father-in-law, Bill and I, installed wood flooring in her room yesterday. It really wasn't too difficult and only took about four hours, but geez am I hurting today!

Even though I'm hurting, it was worth it. I can't believe how beautiful her room turned out. It's the perfect baby girl's nursery. We also hung pictures and mirrors and put her crib together. Last night, Nicole caught me standing silently in the room, looking at everything and smiling. She asked, "Do you love it?"

"I love the person that's going to live here," I answered.

And that, my friends, is the plain and simple truth. I can't wait to meet my daughter.

I Have No Idea What This Means

Seriously. We have her room setup, we've started receiving presents (thank you all, by the way), Nicole's belly grows larger by the day and I can feel Riley kick and squirm and react to my voice... but honestly, for the life of me, I have no idea what change the birth of my daughter will bring. Life will never be the same. Never. Like, never ever, ever for as long as I live. I'm going to be a dad. A father. Her father. How do you explain the enormity of that to someone, much less a goofy guy like me?

I don't have the answer to that question, and I doubt anyone else does either. But I do know that I so, so, so, so look forward to it all. To every little change, no matter how exhausting, poopy (literally), challenging, frustrating or stress-inducing it may be. Because I know it's going to be one of the most rewarding, fun, hilarious, blessed and exciting things I've ever done, too. I've always loved kids, but this little squirt is going to be my kid. My child. My beautiful little girl. How much more thrilling can it get?

I don't have an answer to that question either. And, until she arrives, I will still have no idea what this all means.

Memoirs of a Prego

For those of you that follow our blog you know that I rarely write anything. I leave the tongue-twisting, witty prose to my husband. But I was thinking in the shower the other day—where many of us do our best thinking—that I really should have been writing down all the emotions I’ve felt during pregnancy. And while I’m already 32 weeks along, with a mere 8 weeks to go, I figured now is as good a time as any to jot some of my thoughts down. I’ll look back and be glad I did. Riley can look back and laugh.

What do I dislike about being pregnant?

Weight gain — It’s not so much that I’ve just gained weight (I expected that), but that I’ve gained it all over.

Charlie horses — My calf cramping up in the middle of the night into a ball of twisted muscle.

Lots of doctor’s visits — I don’t dislike my doctor’s visits as a whole, but I do hate sitting in a waiting room for 40 minutes before being taken into another room where I continue to sit and wait. I’m also not a fan of peeing in a cup each and every time. Nor am I excited by the climb onto the mammoth scale that confirms only one thing: I am the mammoth.

Bloating — As if weight gain wasn’t enough.

Back aches and hip aches — I’m about to give birth but I feel like an 85 year-old woman.

Hormones — These dirty little devils are pretty much responsible for every annoying thing: heartburn, constipation, soreness, fatigue and facial hair. Yes, facial hair! I am the wooly mammoth.

Losing the ability to bend — It sounds silly, but you take things like putting on pants, shoes, socks, shaving your legs, reaching down to pick up something you dropped for granted. Suddenly, every movement that requires your abdomen to bend however slight is a whole new complicated set of contortions. Fun to watch for Jonathan I’m sure.

Frequent peeing — I now hold the position of official restroom tour guide for the greater Scottsdale area. If you’ve seen it, I’ve peed it.

My hair — It has turned into some kind of straw, grass-like material. Lovely.

Burping — It was pretty entertaining at first. Whereas once the most I could manage, with the assistance of Dr. Pepper, was a sad little hiccup of a burp, I am now able (and required it seems) to belch out the nastiest, loudest, rip-roarenest burps of all time. While funny at first, now it’s just gross.

What do I love about being pregnant?

Men — No, really. I love watching men who would normally never throw me a glance suddenly stop what their doing, or turn around, or drop everything to open a door for me. It is silly and reminds me that everybody loves a pregnant lady. Of course, my man is still the best.

Shopping — Two kinds here. First, I love shopping for maternity clothes. Buying things two sizes bigger than you normally wear can be depressing, but hey, shopping is shopping. Second, I love buying baby clothes; itty bitty, adorable, ruffled, foo-foo, pink and purple outfits everywhere. She is going to be the best dressed little baby in the whole darn city.

My fuller bust line — Need I explain?

The Silent Code — Whenever I see another pregnant woman or a mom with a brand new infant, there is a silent exchange of sympathy and excitement. Sometimes it’s a nod, other times it’s a wink or a smile. The point is that we both acknowledge the mutual experience for all the goodness (and anti-goodness) it holds.

Massages from my husband — Granted, they hurt and I whine and complain, but they are so wonderful. Most nights I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep without Jonathan kneading my doughy body.

Not getting a period — Period.

Family excitement — The news of little Riley and her arrival has created quite a buzz among our family. Everyone is just so excited. It is a blessing to see and be a part of such a joyous time.

Getting to call my mom “grandma” — More fun than I thought.

Ice cream — As if I needed an excuse.

My belly — While it represents much of my weight gain (which I despise) it also represents life, and newness, and being a woman, and God’s gift. I rub it. I rest cups on it while watching TV. I oil it up to prevent stretch marks. I talk to it… hoping Riley can hear. It is my badge of courage and proof that the Lord is good.

Feeling Riley move — The first flutters were amazing. I was still kind of nauseous, too, so it would feel like a dip on a roller coaster. Now, 8 months in, she is bigger and stronger. She twists, kicks, pushes, reclines. At night I lay on my side and Jonathan lays next to me with his hand across my belly, resting it still so he can catch every movement. She always kicks for daddy. She is real, alive, growing, beautiful… and thank the Lord, she will be here soon!

A Father of Protection

I've never been so frightened. Last Friday Nicole called me after her doctor's appointment to relay Riley's status and what the doctor said. While on the phone, though, she was rear-ended by another driver. At first she just told me, very plainly, that she was just hit, but then she started to cry and couldn't get any words out. She finally told me where she was and, as you can imagine, I ran out of the office, flying into my car and screeching out of the parking lot. I couldn't get through to Nicole again on her cell and my mind automatically went to the worst. What if she's unconscious? If she's hurt badly? How's the baby?

I started to weep as I sped to the accident. I began crying out to the Lord, "Father God, please just protect Nicole and Riley right now. Watch over them. Heal them. Comfort them. Take care of them..." And so on. I can't quite explain the sheer enormity of terror that goes through your heart and mind in such a moment. It was beyond any fear I had ever felt. It surged through my veins. But I knew there was only one thing I could do: pray. And so I continued.

By the time I arrived at the accident, I had spoken with Nicole again and she informed me that it wasn't that bad of a wreck. Her adrenaline just spiked and she got scared for Riley after being hit. Understandably so. She wanted to leave because there was little damage done to the car and she had received the other driver's insurance information. But I called 911 and, before we knew it, there was a fire engine, an EMT, and a police car at the scene. Nicole felt like it was overkill, but as everyone told her that day, we were better to be safe than sorry. Nicole was later monitored for six hours at the hospital, and I'm blessed to report, thanks be to the Lord, she and Riley are absolutely fine. We even got an extra sonogram out of the thing which revealed a much more developed face and body, complete with many (less alien-looking) more baby-looking features.

While I wouldn't call our Friday "fun" by any means, at the end of it all, this situation helped me understand the enormity of emotion that accompanies being a husband and father. I understood it to some degree, but only in moments like these do you truly begin to comprehend the heart God gives you for your family. Unfortunately, and much to my frustration, there's only so much you can do in situations like this. I know the same will be true for other situations that may even be more dangerous and more scary. But I'm glad to be reminded, once again, that a much better Father is taking care of "my girls," and whatever other little (or even unborn) family members God may bless me with in the future. That's something, or more correctly, Someone, I can always count on.

Absence Makes the Heart Grow... Lonelier

Traveling used to be a more frequent activity in my job, but since Nicole and I have been married, it hasn't been required in my current position. Until this past week at least.

I tried compressing my schedule as much as possible so I would only have to be away from home for no more than two nights. And I was able to do so successfully. But two nights felt like an eternity. Okay, that's exaggerating the situation a little bit, but it did feel really, really, really, realllllllly long.

You don't even realize how much you grow accustomed to having your best friend with you all the time. Someone with whom to hang out and talk and even sleep. And it's not just a matter of familiarlarity. It's a matter of preference. You want to be with that person all the time (or at least almost all the time). And when you're not with them, things get lonely.

So while some may say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, I think it's bogus. I already knew how much I loved Nicole before I left and, even when I am with her, I'm growing fonder and falling more in love with her daily. Absence just made my heart grow lonelier. And I realized, once again, how much God designed us all for relationships... especially our most important earthly relationships.

I'll save my actual travel adventure stories for another day and leave everything at that. But let's just say I'm happy to be home. Or more accurately, I'm happy to be back with Nicole, my best friend and truest love.

"Purple Pwease!" — A Short Story

The four day weekend had been spent on one thing: house work. It wasn’t exactly the weekend of R&R that it could have been, but it was productive, and, all things considered, necessary. With the fast approaching birth of our daughter, we had a lot to do. And being the over achiever that I am, after we started painting the nursery, I decided we should paint all the other bedrooms and great room so that my wife, Nicole would actually enjoy staying home everyday with our newborn.

But we finally reached Tuesday, July 4th that year, the reason for the long weekend, and the time had come for well deserved relaxation. That afternoon, we went and spent time with my parents and aunt for some good food and swimming. Later in the evening, stomachs full and relaxed from the soak, we decided that it wouldn’t be Independence Day without fireworks, so we all piled in the car and drove to a park where my family and I watched fireworks growing up. The tradition felt different, though. First off, this was the first time I actually drove the family to the park, instead of my dad. Dropping everyone off at the curb, I went to go park the car. Also, and a bigger reason for the sensed change, this represented my first year married during the national holiday.

I felt… like a family man. Not just some kid who couldn’t wait for the thunderous bursts and pops of lights against the dark sky.

After parking the car (which typically takes quite a while due to the large number of people who enjoy fireworks from the same location, but I got lucky), I quickly made my way back to join Nic, my parents, my aunt and all the other families present to enjoy the spectacle. Parents quietly sat on towels and blankets in the coolness of the greenery while their children ran circles with sparklers in hand, eagerly anticipating the show. There was the usual chatter among the adults and the playful laughter typical of children. Then, with a whistling firework shooting up, up, up into the air until it became a loud POP, the show began.

Right as the first firework’s particles faded into the darkness, a little girl joined her dad who had been sitting alone in front of us while she and her mother enjoyed the playground. No older than three, she hugged him and watched excitedly as the spectacular display unfolded before her young eyes. The show continued. Beautiful, bold, big firework after firework, many at the same time, burst into the sky and descended like pixy dust onto the heads of lost boys.

The dad began conversing with his daughter about the fireworks. He taught her how to “Ooh” and “Ahh” at the display, asked her which color firework was her favorite, and had her shout “Yeah” for the ones she really loved. As was typical of my growing fatherly propensity, I became completely distracted by the little cutie.

Since she had quickly told her dad that purple was her favorite, he told her to ask for those fireworks as loudly as she could. So she began, “Purple pwease…” but the next firework was red, and so the father told his daughter that they couldn’t hear her and she needed to make her request louder. “PURPLE PWEASE,” she repeated. Sure enough, they heard her that time and a huge purple blast exploded into the sky. She and her dad clapped furiously and shouted “Yeah,” in unison.

Watching her and her father interact, as fireworks lit the sky in flashes, I had a realization. Realizations were not uncommon to me. These slight epiphanies were familiar since discovering I too would soon be a dad. Like when I looked at our daughter’s already growing wardrobe and realized that Nicole and I would soon have a daughter that wore the cute little outfits. That we’d have a little person living in our home, crawling our floors in the various onesies. Or like on Saturday mornings, when I would look at my stomach and have these brief visions of my daughter laying on it or Nic’s, entertaining us merely by her presence and smile.

But this particular realization extended beyond my normal visions of a few months down the road. It was in this moment that I realized not only would we have a baby, but that our baby would quickly grow into a little girl, a friend, a person with whom I would share conversation. That before I knew it, she would answer me when I asked questions. That she would develop her own sense of humor and eventually start making jokes. That I would be her dad, the man she looks up to and whom represents the basis of her conceptions of all men to follow. Each thought came with every BOOM of the fireworks. And sitting there, I could do nothing but smile from ear to ear at the thought of what next year would be like, and the year after that, and the year after that.

At one point during the beautiful display, I placed my hand on Nicole’s belly. In that moment, the sound of the fireworks faded and, as far as I was concerned, no one existed in the park except for Nicole and me. I looked at her and said the words which had become incredibly familiar, “We’re going to have a child.” She stared back at me with the gentlest smile I had ever seen.

“I know.”

After that, I saw that we still sat among a large crowd of people and the fireworks came bursting back into earshot. Along with a familiar and adorable voice… “Purple pwease!”

A Little More Regarding Us

Recently, we performed this exercise with a married couples group where we had to write down our likes, dislikes, one thing someone totally wouldn't guess about us and favorite things about our spouses. The results were somewhat entertaining, and since this site is regarding us afterall, we figured it might be another good way for all of you loyal readers out there to learn a little more about who we are, not only as a couple, but as individuals. So, whether you're interested or not, here ya go.

Nicole...

Likes: Warm sheets fresh out of the dryer; rainy days, especially those spent in a coffee shop or in bed; lazy Saturday afternoons with my husband; finding a bargain; ice cream-actually anything sweet; concerts that get the whole audience signing along; my mother’s laugh; sand in my toes; ladybugs; road trips; the feeling of your hair right after a great hair cut; poetry and short stories (good ones); playing cards all night with my husband's family; the smell of babies (minus the dirty diaper smell); stick shifts; camping; sticking my hand out the window while driving down the road doing that up and down thing; hockey games, in person; nice hotel rooms with fluffy bath robes; fresh snow; a nice glass of wine, preferably Shiraz; aspen trees; fresh squeezed orange juice; holding my husband’s hand; spring and fall; slippers; cats; action movies with lots of guns and fighting; glossy magazines; the legislative process; trying new recipes; the book of James; the Cookie Monster; the smell of suntan lotion; a smile from a stranger.

Dislikes: Standing in line; loud cell phone rings; driving, especially during rush hour; poor service at a restaurant; kids with dirty faces and Kool-Aid stained mouths; parking lots and everything that goes on in parking lots; most 80’s music; typing; stepping on gum; sticking to your car seat in the middle of summer; people who cannot dance but insist on dancing; anything played on KYOT; gossipers; awkward silences; body odor; roaches; clowns; most anything trendy; mom jeans; rubbery pancakes; bills; doing dishes; organ music; public restrooms, especially port-a-potties; over-sleeping; running late; spilling something on a white shirt; a stuffy nose; morning breath; know-it-alls.

One thing someone totally wouldn't guess about me: Most (white) people (no offense) usually cannot guess that I am mulatto-that is half black and half white. Yup, I’m an oreo.

Favorite thing about my spouse: Hmm… there really is a lot to love. But before Jonathan and I were married, not even dating, he had asked in our home group what people were looking for in a mate. He called on me. The first thing out of my mouth was kindness. Genuine kindness is sexy and contagious. Jonathan is one of the most genuinely kind people I have ever known. He smiles at strangers, he gets people at stores and behind counters to light up, giggle, joke. He helps people have a better day. He has the ability to make someone feel like they are the only person in the room. It encourages me to do the same. It is one of his most Christ-like characteristics and I am so appreciative.

Jonathan...

Likes: Really weird independant films that most people have never even heard of; otters; the A Team; boxer briefs; peeing after I've been holding it for a long time; funny commercials, like this one; people falling on their faces; hot sex with my hot wife; blogging; performing idiotic and otherwise ridiculous Jackassesque stunts just to watch people's reactions and/or to come out of it all with a good story; oranges; billion dollar ideas that may lead to my early retirement and a financially secure future for my children's children's children; goofing off at work on occassion; rainy days; positive recognition; skiing; interior decorating (I know, I know, but I am married to a woman); peeling glue off my hands and fingers; writing; looking in the mirror right after a shower; Friday date nights; packed lunches; traveling; making funny voices when I call people; not being a woman; playing footsies under the covers with my wife right before we fall asleep and right after we wake up in the morning.

Dislikes: Endings that totally ruin movies which could have otherwise been good or even great; when my wife brings up how many girls I've kissed; looking in the mirror right after dinner; thinking unhappy thoughts; compulsive liars; when people tell good jokes poorly; dust bunnies; taking care of my front and back yard; negative recognition; people that complain all the time and yet, for some reason, never do anything about resolving their complaint(s); mean people; mononucleosis; debt; working three jobs at a time; feeling hot (temperature wise).

One Thing Someone Totally Wouldn't Guess About Me: I have huge, huge, huge nipples. I'm talking large.

Favorite Thing About My Spouse: I only get to pick one thing? Geez, that's a toughie. Okay, this may sound corny, but it's so true. When I finally started dating her, I realized that she was everything I always wanted but didn't know how to even pray or hope for. Some of her characteristics I knew I wanted well before I met her, but so much of who she is that I didn't even realize I wanted (and needed), God brought to me through Nic.

There you have it. Now you know a little more about us. We hope you feel enlightened.

A Weekend To Remember, Indeed

This weekend Nic and I had the privelage to attend FamilyLife's Weekend to Remember conference. And what a weekend to remember it was.

Not only did the weekend allow us to spend time with some friends who are about to be married, it allowed Nic and I the forum to discuss practical truths we've been talking about for quite some time. Nic and I are already very skilled at communication and identifying where we have room for improvement, but quite literally, talk is cheap. This weekend, we had the time and opportunity to focus not just on what we need to do to better our marriage, but more importantly, how we intended on bettering our marriage and blessing one another. Because let's be honest, loving your spouse isn't just about saying those three little words, it's about living those words out on a day-by-day, moment-by-moment basis. Or as 1 John says, "Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth."

If you are married, about to be married or thinking about marrying, we truly can't recommend this conference enough.

The Oh-So-Cute Belly, Nursery and Other News

Okay, for those of you who aren't around and have been asking about Nicole's belly, here's a snapshot.

Isn't she adorable? Gosh, I'm the luckiest, most blessed man I know.

In other news, Nic and I have been in a crazy "nesting" phase. We started on the nursery, but then we decided to paint almost every other room in the house and totally redecorate before the little bambina arrives. Here's a snapshot of the newly painted nursery.

And here's Riley's way too cute and growing wardrobe.

Life is thrilling right now, but it's kind of just a big waiting game. As in, we can't wait to meet Riley. Keep all three of us in your prayers as we near the big day (which is September 25th still, if you were wondering). And thank you all for participating in our lives.

Monsters Everywhere

My poor wife. She's a brave woman typically, but when it comes to roaches, her fear is... well, let's just say she could be a little more rational in this area. She's so practical, but when she saw the first roach in the kitchen, she wanted to drape all the furniture and fumigate the whole house. Another time, she asked if we could move. I told her "Sure. To the dark side of the moon. Where we would never have to see them again." Needless to say, she didn't find that funny.

Since that first roach, she's become much more brave, largely because she's had to. We've had more. But honestly, I kind of like it. Don't get me wrong, I hate seeing her scared (though it is funny at times). You see, when she screams, that's my queue to come to the rescue, galloping on my white steed (or slipping down the hallway in my white socks) with my sword drawn and ready for battle (or at least my Raid can ready to spray). It gives me a sense of manliness. More so, though, it proves once again why two are always better than one. Because whatever fear, weakness, or who knows what else we may face alone, when together in those moments you can let your mate know, whether with words, a look you mutually come to understand, or, in a case like this, a good loud shriek, that you need them. And that's what marriage is all about.

Parenthood Fears

Over lunch this weekend, Nic and I talked about what we were most scared of concerning parenthood. Obviously there are a ton of things that come to mind, I mean, this is our first child we're talking about here, but our answers weren't what we expected.

For Nicole, she said she was nervous about her discipline consistency and tactics. This was surprising to me because, of all the things I thought Nicole might say, this was indeed not one of them. My wife, exhorter that she is, consistently proves herself to be one of the most practical people I know. She's all about answering the "how to" questions. So, I encouraged her and told her that she'll do fantastic in that area. I know that Riley, and our future children, will not be getting away with anything. As far as tactics are concerned, that'll depend on the child. My mom puts it in these terms: sticks and carrots. You have to find what deters disobedience, and you have to find what encourages good behavior. While Nic may be scared of this area, I'm not. I am confident Nicole will do an incredible job helping raise our children in the discipline of the Lord.

Much like I was surprised by her answer, she was surprised by mine. I told her that I was afraid of "not being fun." Not so much when Riley and our other kids are babies or infants, but more so when they reach their middle school and high school years. I fear that I will turn out to be somewhat of a dud. A dad that doesn't let loose and let the kid inside me out on occassion.


My wife assured me, that this should be the least of my concerns. She encouraged me that, with a daughter, whether or not I'm doing something typically labeled "fun," just spending time with Riley will be what matters. Daughters love their dads, and all I'll have to do, according to my wise wife, is make myself available and seek out spending time with our eldest as much as possible. Okay. That's something I know I can do.

There are other things we're scared of in regards to our impending parenthood, surely. Will we always display patience with her? When will we allow her to date and how strict will I be on her boyfriend? How will we encourage her faith in a way that she can make it her own? What movies, clothes, friends will we not allow her to see, wear and spend time with and, when we do, how will we react to her potential frustration? These are all questions we have (among others)... but we don't have to answer those now. We're taking one day at a time, and as long as each one of those days we're seeking our Father's wisdom and guidance, we'll be more than okay. And that's something we can rely on until the end of time, no matter how great the fear.

Pictures of Our Baby

Hey everybody, if you want to grab a sneak peek of what our daughter looks like, check out her latest post at LifeThusFar.com. She posted some great ultrasound photos, such as that below... and more.

The Honey-Do List

Believe me when I say there are a ton of things I need to do inside, outside and around the house. From yard work to painting to trash removal and everything in between, it's a long list.

This week, while Nic was stretching her expanding belly at Yoga class, I decided I would start on some of the items I knew needed completion. Following a trip to Home Depot for the necessary supplies and a little weed work out front, I started on the hall bathroom toilet. The water's been overflowing, requiring us to turn off the water supply after every restroom use. Annoyed isn't quite the word to fully explain my frustration with this problem.

So, after a long time of procrastination, I started to replace our old ballcock (seriously, that's the name for the toilet part). After I finished the instillation, I turned the water back on. Much to my surprise, I hadn't sufficiently locked one of the mechanisms, thereby resulting in a steady and cold stream of water shooting straight out of the toilet, up into my face, and all around the bathroom. It was straight out of a slapstick comedy. Luckily, Nicole wasn't there to see it. Unfortunately, however, a short while later when Nicole was home, I tried unlocking the ballcock to move it higher and raise the water supply to the appropriate level. What I didn't know was that I had accidentally left the water on, and therefore, it happened again. Like Old Faithful, the toilet shot water to the ceiling of the bathroom, directly into my face and all over Nicole's jewelry and other accessories.

While it was funny after the fact, all I kept thinking as I worked on the toilet tank was Thank You, Lord I'm not a plumber. Ah, the joys of marriage and the never ending honey-do list. I did get a nice kiss out of my hard work, though. And that always makes up for toilet water shooting into your eyes.

Gosh Riley Makes Us Proud...

Still four or five months from birth and our daughter has already started blogging. She's amazing. For those of you that want to keep up on our family's lives from Riley's perspective, be sure to check out LifeThusFar.com (the redirect domain should work by tomorrow).

And thank you again for all your prayers.

The Movies We Love With The One We Love

Marriage is awesome. As our good friend put it while we were engaged: "You never have to leave your best friend..." Of course, shortly thereafter he added, "And you get to go all the way, every time." Both are true statements. But let's focus on the first. (The latter doesn't need an explanation anyway.)

Outside of our time spent at work, Nicole and I spend almost every waking moment together. When you have that much time, you can do a lot. But you find very quickly that there are a few things you particularly enjoy doing together, and as a result, do frequently. We like trying new restaurants. We love walking old town Scottsdale. We find ourselves at Barnes & Noble fairly often, reading and writing together. But most of all, we love movies.

There isn't one aspect of film I don't enjoy. The cinematography, the script, the characters, the acting, the lighting. I love it all. Every aspect of them. And Nicole, bless her heart, has come to enjoy movies more as a result of being with me. I've introduced her to some classics and she's introduced me to a couple good flicks as well. Considering the fact that a lot of our friends have recently been married, engaged or began dating, here are a couple of our favorites, good for watching with that special someone in your life.

Almost Famous
It's probably Nicole and my favorite movie to watch together. It's just so... perfect. There isn't one wrong beat to this movie. Every performance is stellar. The music is fantastic (one of which is our song). The story is just so heartfelt... and it's true, too. If you haven't seen this one, pick it up.

Moonstruck
Yes, it stars Cher. But it's just so dang good. And funny. And realistic in its own quarky way. Cage and Cher are a perfect match in this flick. Definitely worth a watch (and a rewatch and a rewatch). It's on Nicole's top 10 list of all time. And I don't think it's too bad, either.

When Harry Met Sally
As far as romantic comedies go, it doesn't get much better than this. Billy Crystal. Meg Ryan. The famous "I'll have what she's having" scene. Always a sure-fire date movie winner.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
I wish everyone would see this movie. It was my favorite film of the year a couple years back and it's just full of imagination, comedy, romance and... a lesson on ethics. Not a movie you would expect Jim Carrey in, but wonderful nonetheless. Please see this movie.

Le Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain
Also known as Amelie to those who don't speak French (Nic and I included), this is a delightful and fantastical film, full of whimsy and humor. With beautiful cinematography and one of the most original screenplays around, be sure to catch this film if you haven't already. And men, you may even get extra points for renting a film that's French. Anything French feels more romantic.

True Romance
This one isn't for everyone, but Nicole loves it and introduced me to it this past Valentine's Day. It's definitely a more violent romance than you would typically expect with a movie, but what would you expect coming from the likes of Quentin Tarantino and Tony Scott. The tagline for the film reads: "Stealing, cheating, killing. Who said romance is dead?" Like I said, it's not for everyone, but we like it.

The Constant Gardner
One of last year's best films, hands down. While on the surface it seems like an international thriller and mystery, right below that surface is one of the most beautiful romances ever captured on screen. Truly a beautiful film with fine performances from Ralph Fiennes and Rachel Weisz, directed by the always excellent Fernando Meirelles.

Lost In Translation
In my personal opinion, this is Bill Murray's best film yet. It doesn't display the full capability of Murray's wackiness and humor, found in films like Groundhog Day and What About Bob, but this film isn't about wackiness. Unlike most films in which everything needs to be spelled out and labeled and tied up in little bow, the beauty in this film is found in everything that is unsaid between Bill Murray's character along with Scarlett Johansson. One to see, even if you don't like Bill Murray.

Fever Pitch
It's one of those movies you wouldn't expect to be funny, or cute, or romantic, but actually is. Much better than the typical romantic comedy fare, Fever Pitch hits a homerun with men and women. It's funny enough for the guys but romantic enough for the ladies.

Die Hard
Okay, so this one isn't really the most romantic movie in the world, but gosh is it good. And Nicole and I love it. When I found out Nic loved it as much as I did, I knew I had found the perfect mate. When you're not in that lovey dovey movie mood, this is the one to get. And there's still romance... sort of... if you count that super duper kiss at the end of the movie between the very bloody and injured John McClane (played by Bruce Willis) and his wife. Now that's love.

So, there you have it. Some of our top faves. But it's not just the movies that we love. It's the fact that we get to watch these movies together. Whether we're at the theatre or we're just laying in front of the flicker of our television on the mattress we roll out to the family room, we silently watch these and other films thinking how lucky we are to have our movie buddy right there next to us. Our movie buddy for life. Our best friend.

It's... it's... it's...

First off, I know: it's been far too long. Nic and I have been so busy, but it's no excuse.

Now, for the main event. While this isn't a movie review site, I'll warn you anyway.

SPOILER ALERT!!! IF YOU KEEP READING, YOU WILL KNOW THE SEX OF OUR CHILD. READ ONLY IF YOU WANT TO KNOW!!!

It's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... gosh this is suspenseful, isn't it... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... it's... a girl!

If it's a surprise to you, let me tell you: it was a major surprise to us, too. We truly thought it was going to be a boy, in which case the name would have been Kyle James. But seeing as we're having a girl and we don't want to start her off with a propensity towards any future gender-identity complex, we'll be naming her Riley Grace. Everyone seems to like the name, so far, so we're sticking with it.

Like I said, it was a major surprise to us. When the doctor told us, she said, "Looks like daddy was wrong. I'm not a boy!" God knew, though. Nic and I are excited and we're blessed that she is looking healthy and growing right along schedule.

What does this mean? It means much more money will be spent on cutesy-this and adorable-that. It means that she'll have daddy wrapped around her little finger, both as my eldest and my daughter. It means that we're not painting the nursery blue afterall. It means that Nicole and I better start saving for her wedding immediately. It means that there will be much more pink in my life than I would have expected at this stage (though Nicole and I do prefer purple over pink). It means... a lot of things. My whole "two boys, then a girl" theory is out the window, that's for sure. But like I said, God knows what's best for us... and Riley.

Last night, after we found out, Nicole and I went out and bought the cutest little dresses you could imagine. You should see Nicole when she passes the little dresses and hats and ruffled-butt-diaper-cover-thingies. I already know Riley's going to be the most beautiful little girl I've ever laid eyes on (afterall, she is the daughter of my gorgeous wife). The first fatherly thing I said after we found out: "She's not dating until she's 21." Ahhh yes, the joys of fatherhood begin.

We have lots more to write about over the coming months. But, in the meantime, when you think about us, please pray for our daughter. For her growth. For her protection. For the Holy Spirit upon her even now. That God would be preparing Nicole and me to raise His precious child according to His will and plan. For the beautiful daughter with whom we have yet to meet but already thank God for abundantly. For Riley Grace.

Here's The Skinny...

Okay, okay, so we haven’t written in a while. We both know (and feel kind of bad about it). We’ve had other things on our minds (and in our tummies, or at least Nicole’s tummy). But, we want to update you together, and so, here’s the skinny…

Nicole feels fat.
She’s not, but she feels it. A little tummy is forming (while not nearly to the point the thinks), revealing the new home of our child, whom we call “Bam Bam” for now.

We’ll see you at the Barely Legal Beach Club.
Just kidding. Nicole’s reading Get Out magazine and we like laughing at the ads. We will definitely not see you at the Barely Legal Beach Club.

Jonathan’s gassy.
Well, that’s not actually news, but it was just something that came to mind.

Nicole’s pregnant emotions are funny.
She can’t help it. Her emotions range from hysterical, uncontrollable laughter to tearing up at cotton commercials and everything in between. Jonathan has handled it well, but gets a good kick out of it. One night a little while ago, Nicole was up late due to a racing heart. We took a shower around 3:00 a.m. to help her calm down. As we hugged, she went back and forth from laughing to crying to doing both at the exact same time. It was a priceless moment.

It may rain soon.
Jonathan has been praying for no rain since it last rained (and as we know from the Bible, the prayer of a faithful man accomplishes much). Why, you ask? Because our roof had been damaged and no companies were willing to repair the small section which surely would have led to massive leaking. Finally, though, we found Larry the Roofer, our roof has been fixed and Jonathan believes that it will rain again soon.

Jonathan cries a lot just thinking about our child.
For example, the other night we watched Ransom, starring Mel Gibson. Everything was fine until Mel and Rene Russo’s character walk in on their child in handcuffs and blindfolded by duct tape. Jonathan broke down crying just thinking about the possibility of something like that ever happening to our child. It’s horrible to even think about. Most of the time he’s excited about what Bam Bam will look like, who Bam Bam will turn out being, but sometimes Jonathan just starts crying, both in joy and in fear, for all types of reasons.

The ostrich festival is coming to town.
Just another thing Nicole read about from Get Out magazine this week. If you have nothing better to do.

We’re addicted to 24.
Ever since we borrowed the first season from my parents, we’ve been hooked. It’s television heroine. We’re on season three now, and that’s in just two month’s time. If you haven’t watched it, you have to check it out. Jonathan wants to make a shirt that reads “Jack Bauer is my hero.” Seriously.

You should check out Financial Peace University.
We started taking this class together at Open Door Fellowship. Nicole had taken it before we were married and vowed that she would take the class again with her husband. It’s such an awesome class and we encourage everyone, married or unmarried, to take it at some time or another (the sooner the better). Check out DaveRamsey.com for more info. We guarantee it will bless you and your family.

And that’s all for now.
Hopefully this was a good enough update to keep you satisfied for a while. You can keep praying for Nicole and the safety of Bam Bam. We’ll be finding out if it’s a boy or girl in one month, so we’ll let you know when we do. We’re pretty sure it’s going to be a boy, in which case the name Kyle James is the leading contender for now, but we’ll tell you when we know for sure. Thanks for reading and being patient while waiting for this post. Not like this was Star Wars Episode 3 or anything, but we appreciate your encouragement and caring about all three of our lives (Bam Bam’s included). God bless!

Ministry: Possible

How blessed I am.

Last night, one of my best friends asked Nicole and me to come and teach his home fellowship group about spiritual gifts . It is, surely, a topic I am passionate to discuss. Much because of my own spiritual gift as a shepherd. We were not 100% prepared for the time, but just prayed for the Holy Spirit to work through us and move in that place. And that He did.

I spoke for the first 15 minutes and then we broke up so that we could cover more ground and talk with the individuals to help them discover their own giftedness. Nicole met with the women and I met with the men. Surely, God worked. Nicole and I both marveled afterwards at how He moved in our midst. Many of the women came and told me what an eloquent and well spoken wife I have. Indeed.

But the cool thing is, Nic and I both realize it's not because of us. It's because of what the Spirit did through us. And I can't help but thank God for a wife who I can do ministry with on a daily basis. A wife that loves God and He uses mightily. A Proverbs 31 woman.

Men, belive me when I say, you want the same. Pray for it. Don't settle. God has someone that you will be able to do ministry with daily. They will bless, not only your marriage, but the kingdom. And that's all that matters in the eternal scheme of things anyway.

Quick Update

There's so much going on right now. It's almost unbelievable. But God is so very good through it all. I don't have time to write much at this moment, but I wanted to give you all an update and let you know that I haven't forgotten about you.

1. Nicole is feeling sick, tired, hungry, fat and, sometimes, disgusting. But the baby (or Bam Bam as we have come to call the unborn child) is well. We viewed the first sonogram last week. How amazing, that at seven weeks, this child no larger than a peanut has a heartbeat. Truly incredible. There will be more to come on that topic soon.
2. We both went on a trip to Flagstaff for the weekend with our church high school group to help with the kids in our weekly home group. God showed up in big ways and did a lot. Praise Him!
3. I am sick, so please be praying. My job isn't exactly the type of position you can take off a couple days because you don't feel well.

And that's about it. For now at least. Look out for more soon.

Your First of Many

I don’t even know your name. And yet I feel nothing but love for you. A love so profound and so complete and so overwhelming that it has kept me up, into the early hours of this January morning, writing to you. Your first letter. Your first of many.

Whoever you are, whoever you become, you have my heart and my love and my support and whatever else you need all the days of my life. My love for you is deep and wide and greater than I will ever be able to explain or prove in a single sentence or action. Even in the times when you may think I am frustrated with you. Angry or disappointed. With or without reason. Even then I will love you. I will always love you. Whoever you are. Whoever you become. Not just because I am supposed to do so. Not just because I will force myself to do so.

Because I will not be able to help myself.

I will love you and love you and love you with all of me. I want you to know my love and feel my love and believe my love every day of your life. I want you to know and feel and believe that I am here for you anytime you need or just want me nearby. I want you to know and feel and believe that I would do anything for you. Anything. Including sacrifice my own life.

As I told you. It’s late. Or early depending on how you look at it. But all I can do is sit on my couch in the stillness and soft dark of night, thinking of you. Imagining. Praying. Writing more. I love you so much already. So undeniably. So uncontrollably. So inexplicably.

And all for a child I have not yet even met. For a child whose name I do not even know. For you. My firstborn.